Dayhoff Carroll: www.kevindayhoff.org
Westminster Md Online - The Winchester Report, by Kevin Earl Dayhoff:
Runner, writer, artist, fire and police chaplain
Mindless ramblings of a runner, journalist, and artist
Westminster, Hampstead, Manchester, Taneytown, Union Bridge, Mount Airy and Sykesville in Carroll Co, Maryland... and Frederick Co.
Westminster Fire Dept., Firefighters, police officers, Carroll Co Sheriff's Office, Md St Police. Chaplain duties, Religion, Grace Lutheran Ch.
Showing posts with label "Five Easy Pieces". Show all posts
Showing posts with label "Five Easy Pieces". Show all posts
The reclusive and enigmatic childhood friend of Truman Capote, Harper Lee, celebrated a birthday yesterday. She was born Nelle Harper Lee on April 28, 1926, in Monroeville, Alabama…
Song info: Lyrics and Music: Toni Stern and Carole King feat. Dina Carroll
Lyrics:
Stayed in bed all morning just to pass the time There's something wrong here There can be no denying One of us is changing Or maybe we've just stopped trying
And it's too late baby, now it's too late Though we really did try to make it Something inside has died and I can't hide And I just can't fake it
It used to be so easy living here with you You were light and breezy And I knew just what to do Now you look so unhappy And I feel like a fool
And it's too late baby, now it's too late Though we really did try to make it Something inside has died and I can't hide it And I just can't fake it
There'll be good times again for me and you But we just can't stay together Don't you feel it too Still I'm glad for what we had And how I once loved you
But it's too late baby, now it's too late Though we really did try to make it Something inside has died and I can't hide And I just can't fake it
Don't you know that I... I just can't fake it Oh it's too late my baby Too late my baby You know It's too late my baby
Its four in the morning, the end of December Im writing you now just to see if youre better New york is cold, but I like where Im living Theres music on clinton street all through the evening.
I hear that youre building your little house deep in the desert Youre living for nothing now, I hope youre keeping some kind of record.
Yes, and jane came by with a lock of your hair She said that you gave it to her That night that you planned to go clear Did you ever go clear?
Ah, the last time we saw you you looked so much older Your famous blue raincoat was torn at the shoulder Youd been to the station to meet every train And you came home without lili marlene
And you treated my woman to a flake of your life And when she came back she was nobodys wife.
Well I see you there with the rose in your teeth One more thin gypsy thief Well I see janes awake –
She sends her regards. And what can I tell you my brother, my killer What can I possibly say? I guess that I miss you, I guess I forgive you Im glad you stood in my way.
If you ever come by here, for jane or for me Your enemy is sleeping, and his woman is free.
Yes, and thanks, for the trouble you took from her eyes I thought it was there for good so I never tried.
And jane came by with a lock of your hair She said that you gave it to her That night that you planned to go clear
-- sincerely, l. cohen
SDOSM 20090321 20090321 SDOSM Famous Blue Raincoat Leonard Cohen 19710000 MariaAdouaneta 20071220 Famous Blue Raincoat Leonard Cohen
Kevin Dayhoff www.kevindayhoff.net http://kevindayhoff.blogspot.com/
Kevin Dayhoff: www.westgov.net Westminster Maryland Online www.westminstermarylandonline.net http://kevindayhoffwestgov-net.blogspot.com/
Among my most prized possessions are words that I have never spoken
October 23, 2008 I’m not sure when Orson Scott Card said this; however the following quote ought to be an everyday mantra for anyone in the public spotlight.
It is certainly a thought that many in the blogosphere ought to take to heart…
It reminds me of the great admonition that I often repeated to myself when I was an elected official – although critics will suggest that I, all too often did not follow my own advice enough: “Never miss an opportunity to sit down and shut up.”
"Among my most prized possessions are words that I have never spoken." Attributed to Orson Scott Card
Among my most prized possessions are words that I have never spoken
October 23, 2008
I’m not sure when Orson Scott Card said this; however the following quote ought to be an everyday mantra for anyone in the public spotlight.
It is certainly a thought that many in the blogosphere ought to take to heart…
It reminds me of the great admonition that I often repeated to myself when I was an elected official – although critics will suggest that I, all too often did not follow my own advice enough: “Never miss an opportunity to sit down and shut up.”
"Among my most prized possessions are words that I have never spoken." Attributed to Orson Scott Card
Picture caption: Carroll County Commissioners Dean Minnich, Julia Gouge, and Mike Zimmer on the barricades at the Carroll County Office Building, Westminster, Maryland by Delacroix and Kevin Dayhoff August 7th, 2008
Carroll County’s reputation for low crime and an aggressive approach to public safety is not a recent phenomenon.
Over 80 years ago on July 16, 1925, the editor of the American Sentinel newspaper in Westminster, Joseph D. Brooks wrote that many “years ago Carroll county was known to criminals all over the state as an ‘open door to the penitentiary,’ and many there were who entered by way of that door.”
However, as one can imagine when a community determines any public policy to be of paramount importance there are bound to be impassioned conflicts and dramas.
Writing for the Historical Society of Carroll County in 2001, Jay Graybeal noted in his introduction of the 1925 newspaper article, “Why the Listlessness of the Sheriffs of Carroll County?”; that it seems that Mr. Brooks had become unhappy with the Carroll County sheriff and state’s attorney and was letting them know that in no uncertain terms.
Carroll County history is replete with colorful conflicts, many of operatic proportions, between the Carroll County board of commissioners, the Carroll County delegation to Annapolis, the state’s attorney’s office, and the sheriff.
In the most recent act of this ongoing opera, on October 4, 2007 the Carroll County board of commissioners opted to move forward with a plan to form a county police department headed by an appointed chief of police.
Not willing to disappoint future historians, troubadours from far-flung regions of the Carroll County Empire then entered the stage and chaos ensued. I read several of the news accounts with the soundtrack of “Les Misérables” playing in the background.
The only disappointment is that Victor Hugo, the author of the classic 1862 novel, is not available to write about it.
Just as with any good storytelling, “La Policía” the current epic Carroll County constitutional conflict over the future of the police in Carroll County has many layers, story lines, strong personalities, and plot twists.
The frenzied operatic moments are reminiscent of what a collaboration between the famous 19th-century composer Richard Wagner and his father-in-law, Franz Liszt, would have looked like; with the emphasis of folks attempting to promote a plan for the future that cannot escape the past.
The very first act of La Policía is borrowed from Les Misérables. As the curtains rise, the scene before the bewildered citizen audience is the barricaded Carroll County office building.
It’s August 7, 2008 and the commissioners have just voted 2-1 to not move forward with the October 4, 2007 police plan.
As the smoke rises from the stage, there is a break in the action as members of the Carroll County Sheriff’s Department are storming the barricades.
Blinking red and blue police lights reflect back and forth in the fog of the smoke.
In the background, the delegation to Annapolis forms the chorus and is softly singing.
The three commissioners are standing on top of the barricades. Commissioners Mike Zimmer and Dean Minnich are on either side of Julia Gouge, holding her steady as she waves an oversized Carroll County flag.
Office building employees have broken out the windows and are showering the storming sheriff’s deputies with office furniture.
The stage is littered with burning newspapers as the local media has shelled all the participants with folded newspapers shot from makeshift artillery.
Off to the side, Channel 13 news reporter Mike Schuh is attempting to interview Westminster Police Chief Jeff Spaulding. The only thing is - the chief has the 1971 Led Zeppelin classic, “The Battle of Evermore,” coincidentally, the title of the first act of La Policía, cranked-up so loud on the car stereo, no one can hear a thing.
Inside the office building the receptionist, Kay Church, is serving cookies, answering the phones and has armed herself with a salad shooter and big bag of carrots.
Ted Zaleski, the director of management and budget is huddled off to the side with Vivian Laxton, the public information administrator as they try and figure out who is playing what character from Les Misérables.
All of the sudden there is silence on the stage as famed local historian; Jay Graybeal emerges from the fog as a narrator, smiles and begins to softly tell the story of the history of the sheriff’s department.
“When Carroll County was founded in 1837, one of the first tasks…” of the newly formed government was to elect a sheriff. As with many aspects of early American government, its origins date back to the history of mother England.
According to some undocumented notes, “1200 years ago, England was inhabited by Anglo-Saxons. Groups of a hundred would ban together and form communities known as a “tun,” from where we get the word, “town.”
Every group of a hundred, or “tun,” as led by a “reeve,” which was the forerunner of what we now know as a chief of police.
According to Mr. Brooks, the reeve was “charged with the execution of the laws … and the preservation of the peace, and, in some cases having judicial powers. He was the King’s reeve, or steward over a shire … — a distinctive royal officer, appointed by the king, dismissible at a moment’s notice…”
Groups of “tuns” banned together to form a larger form of government known as a ‘Shire’” – what we now know as a county; and my old notes reflect that in order to distinguish the leader of a “Shire,” from a leader of a tun, the more powerful official became known as a “Shire-Reeve.”
Photo caption: It is not known as to whether or not Carrie Ann Knauer, pictured above interviewing Ms. Child in an undated photograph, followed in Ms. Child’s footsteps. She is indeed not only an excellent writer and cook - - but was she also once a secret agent? Kevin Dayhoff - File photo circa 2000.
Julia Child part of WWII era spy ring. Reports unsubstantiated that Carrie Ann Knauer was also once a secret agent
August 13, 2008
As many folks who follow the news are aware, it was recently revealed that Julia Child was part of a WWII-era spy ring As you can read in the Associated Press story: “Other notables identified in the files include John Hemingway, son of author Ernest Hemingway; Quentin and Kermit Roosevelt, sons of President Theodore Roosevelt, and Miles Copeland, father of Stewart Copeland, drummer for the band The Police.”
However it has not been confirmed as to whether or not Carroll County’s very own “Rachael Ray” was ever a spy. We all know Carrie Ann Knauer’s work; she’s the prolific writer with the Carroll County Times who well known for her excellent coverage of Carroll County’s number one industry, agriculture, the environment and Carroll County’s number one love – food.
Did indeed, Ms. Knauer, pictured above interviewing Ms. Child in an undated photograph, follow in Ms. Child’s footsteps – and is indeed not only an excellent writer and cook - - but was also a secret agent.
Perhaps we’ll never know.
What is known is that Ms. Knauer first burst into the news media when she came to the Carroll County Times in February 2002. Of course this coincides well with fact that Ms. Childs moved to a retirement community in Santa Barbara, California, in 2001…
WASHINGTON - Famed chef Julia Child shared a secret with Supreme Court Justice Arthur Goldberg and Chicago White Sox catcher Moe Berg at a time when the Nazis threatened the world.
They served in an international spy ring managed by the Office of Strategic Services, an early version of the CIA created in World War II by President Franklin Roosevelt.
The full secret comes out Thursday, all of the names and previously classified files identifying nearly 24,000 spies who formed the first centralized intelligence effort by the United States. The National Archives, which this week released a list of the names found in the records, will make available for the first time all 750,000 pages identifying the vast spy network of military and civilian operatives.
They were soldiers, actors, historians, lawyers, athletes, professors, reporters. But for several years during World War II, they were known simply as the OSS. They studied military plans, created propaganda, infiltrated enemy ranks and stirred resistance among foreign troops.
[…]
Other notables identified in the files include John Hemingway, son of author Ernest Hemingway; Quentin and Kermit Roosevelt, sons of President Theodore Roosevelt, and Miles Copeland, father of Stewart Copeland, drummer for the band The Police. Read the entire article here: Julia Child part of WWII-era spy ring
This is DEFINITELY the last Pretty in Pink video for the time being! I wanted to experiment with using some dialogue from the film in a video, to see if it actually was possible to represent a slash subtext using the actual script. I had to be creative here, but I think it works! The song, whilst not contemporary to the film, works well as a backing track; the footage itself was built around one long, slow clip of James Spader that I'd forgotten to include in the previous videos and I desperately wanted to give a home to! Oh, one thing - there is some *strong* language in this video, because it has dialogue - consider yourself warned!
“Teardrop” was released as a single on April 21, 1998 by “Massive Attack.”It first appeared on their album “Messanine.”I had meant to post this on the 10th anniversary of its release and was overtaken by events.I get so annoyed when work gets in the way of art.
Your moment of Zen to Teardrop by Massive Attack. These are fractured images from the Hubble Space Telescope. They are animated in iMovie on a Macbook. The reference to Portishead at the end of the film is an error. But once I posted it, I didn't want to pull the video so the error remains. Sorry.
For fans of the movie, “Pretty in Pink,” there is a YouTube video about “Pretty in Pink,” with Massive Attack’s “Teardrop,” for the soundtrack.Unfortunately I cannot put it on “Kevin Dayhoff Soundtrack” because of the strong language content.Please find it here on Kevin Dayhoff’s Storage Closet:
This is DEFINITELY the last Pretty in Pink video for the time being! I wanted to experiment with using some dialogue from the film in a video, to see if it actually was possible to represent a slash subtext using the actual script. I had to be creative here, but I think it works! The song, whilst not contemporary to the film, works well as a backing track; the footage itself was built around one long, slow clip of James Spader that I'd forgotten to include in the previous videos and I desperately wanted to give a home to! Oh, one thing - there is some *strong* language in this video, because it has dialogue - consider yourself warned!
Winston-Salem, North Carolina - - This is the story of Mrs. Owl and I having hummus with pita bread, a tofu sandwich and a calzone; at the “Mellow Mushroom,” 4th and Marshall St., Winston-Salem, North Carolina.The story is told in six – or so parts…
Michael Swartz'slistof local blogs to watch in 2008 is pretty good. It is missing a few good blogs of note, however…
As much as I agreed with most, but not all, of Mr. Swartz’s list, your list is right on the money.I also miss Stephanie Dray’s Jousting for Justice.And I am very happy that Crablaw's Maryland Weekly is back…
Your post could not have been timed better as it came shortly after a conversation with a dear colleague who said they like my blog – although I’m too liberal.
Ay caramba - whatever.
Along that thread, another colleague said “Dayhoff … your problem is that you like everybody.”
To that I plead guilty – life is way to short.Then again, maybe not – I don’t like mean people; and that personality defect occurs in folks from all political persuasions.
I simply do not allow politics to dictate my friends - - and I don’t like folks who do pick their friends based on politics.(I’ll be having lunch later in the week with a dear friend with whom I disagree about everything when it comes to politics.)I can disagree with folks about issues, but more often than not – I like the person…
As far as your observation: “… his actual blog hard to read -- its look is extremely busy and most of the posts are just link aggregations…”Hey, you oughta be in my head…
At least with the blog, there is an attempt at organization…I also find my blog “hard to read” and try as I might, after blogging for a number of years, it is still way too busy.
Perhaps my blog is a manifestation of being a hypergraphic attention deficit disorder hyperactive dyslexic.Maybe – just maybe, one day I’ll figure out what I’m doing.Being a technology geek – one would’ve thought blogging would be easy for me.It is not.
At this point, on the blog evolutionary scale, my blog is a monkey on roller skates. The monkey may or may not be wearing a pink tutu - this is for you to decide.
Years ago, I thought blogging would be easy for a columnist and short story writer.It has not been the case.And within the last number of months, I picked up a third (newspaper) column every week; which just proves the “Peter Principle” is real.I’m now way beyond my intellectual and cognitive abilities.
Heckfire – some days, I’m proud to have even found the time, much less the cognitive abilities - to post “link aggregations.”
Meanwhile, I am painstakingly determined to promote constant attention on current procedures of transacting business focusing emphasis on innovative ways to better, if not supercede, the expectations of quality.What I really need in order to navigate the treacherous waters that lie ahead is a list of specific unknown problems I will encounter.
Always remember, the purpose of my blog is to discuss fragmentary patchworks of autochthonous and foreign elements as juxtaposed by the undeniable command mortality of insignificant self-inflicted syntactic semiotic economics which sometimes may cause irreproducible results unless there is a pre-emptive digital fallibility matrix which would require an integrated third-generational triangulated refinement of indefinite managerial potential.
As I wax philosophic with metaphysical postulations, incomplete aphorisms and inconsistent sophism that allows me to conclude, more and more sure, that the only true thing about anything is nothing.
Now I know you believe you understand what you think I just said but I am sure that you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
As always, your thoughtful consideration is appreciated regardless of the outcome on any particular issue. Whether we agree or disagree, always find my door open for friendly civil and constructive dialogue.
Today Billy Joe MacAllister jumped off the TallahatchieBridge
November 1, 2007
My October 31, 2007 – Wednesday Westminster Eagle column is up on the Westminster Eagle web site and it pertains to one of my favorite forms of literature, Southern Gothic storytelling and one of my favorite songs from my teenage years, “Ode to Billie Joe” by Bobbie Gentry.
I lost most the following paragraphs to my word limit…
Ms. Gentry was born Roberta Streeter in nearby Chickasaw County, Mississippi, on July 27, 1944, where she grew up in severe poverty on her grandparents’ farm.Her grandmother facilitated her exploration of writing and music when she traded a family cow for a piano.At the age of seven, Ms. Streeter – Gentry wrote her first song, “My Dog Sergeant Is a Good Dog.”
When Ms. Gentry first released the song, it was the “B” side of a debut “forty-five” which featured a song, “Mississippi Delta.”Disk jockeys became more intrigued with “Ode to Billy Joe” and started giving it considerable airtime – and it crossed over from country music stations to “Top 40.”It topped the charts for four weeks in August 1967, sold three million copies, and won her three Grammy awards.
The narrator of the story is not identified in Ms. Gentry’s haunting and mysterious tale of a young man who commits suicide.The song comes to mind as Halloween is upon us and thoughts wonder to trick or treating or the community Halloween Parade - and ghost stories.CarrollCounty is awash in ghost stories for your enjoyment.That is of course, if you believe in ghosts.Do you believe in ghosts?
The column started out as an “evergreen,” an obligatory column for a particular seasonal event in the year.
Many of my colleagues who write for newspapers abhor “evergreens,” however I have always seen them as a challenge to come up with a different angle on a perennial topic, in this case, a piece on Halloween.
The piece started out very differently as when I neared deadline I jettisoned the customary tome on ghost stories in CarrollCounty with the standard fare on the origins of Halloween.
I got off on a tangent with a variation on the old “CrybabyBridge” standard and quickly left quite a bit of work on the cutting room floor.To wit, most of the following, along with an additional 400 words were killed off:
As with many of our customs, observances and holidays, Halloween evolved over many centuries as a combination of several non-Christian ancient harvest celebrations and rituals combined with religious celebrations.The roots of Halloween go back as far as the 5th century BC in Celtic Ireland, when October 31 was celebrated as “Samhain,” the Celtic New Year.
For the economic historian, it is widely accepted that Halloween came to America along with the significant Irish wave of immigrants as a result of the economic hardships brought on by the Irish potato famine from 1845 to 1851.
Halloween is upon and thoughts wonder to trick or treating or the community Halloween Parade.
And ghost stories.CarrollCounty is awash in ghost stories for your enjoyment.That is of course, if you believe in ghosts.
Do you believe in ghosts?
Among some of the old favorites in Carroll County are the Ghost of Furnace Hills; the Civil War soldier that roams around in Cockey’s Tavern; the ghost of the old Rebecca at the old jail, which now houses Junction, a drug abuse treatment center; and the headless apparition of Marshall Buell at the old Odd Fellows Hall in Westminster.
It was forty years ago in the late summer of 1967 that we first learned from “Mama” that the nice young preacher, Brother Taylor “said he saw a girl that looked a lot like you up on Choctaw Ridge.And she and Billy Joe was throwing somethin' off the TallahatchieBridge.”
I first heard the song, “Ode to Billy Joe,” by Bobbie Gentry that summer on WCAO on the AM dial of the car radio.It was also in this time period that I became firmly hooked on the existential - “Southern Gothic” genre of storytelling.
Other examples of authors of the Southern gothic genre of writing include William Faulkner, Carson McCullers, Eudora Welty, Truman Capote, and Harper Lee.Tennessee Williams once described the genre as stories that reflect “an intuition of an underlying dreadfulness in modern experience.”
Who can forget: It was the third of June, another sleepy, dusty Delta day…And mama hollered at the back door "y'all remember to wipe your feet."And then she said she got some news this mornin' from Choctaw Ridge.Today Billy Joe MacAllister jumped off the TallahatchieBridge.”
Of course another intriguing feature of the story is that it takes place in CarrollCounty: “And brother said he recollected when he and Tom and Billy Joe put a frog down my back at the CarrollCounty picture show.”
Ms. Gentry has to this day remained circumspect about the haunting and mysterious tale of Mr. MacAllister, but one thing we do know is that the “CarrollCounty” she is referring to in the song is “Carroll County Mississippi.”Come to find out, there are approximately 13 places in the United States called “CarrollCounty.”
The song comes to mind as Halloween is upon us and thoughts wonder to ghost stories.CarrollCounty is awash in ghost stories for your enjoyment.
Halloween ghost stories are fascinating as often they involve aspects of unexplained historical events, enigmatic dialogue, and inexplicable characters.However, over the years, I have become much more enamored with Southern gothic storytelling, which is frequently more creative – and often more disturbing in the manner it which it peels away the layers of a community or society; yet does not tell a reader ‘what to think,’ but nevertheless causes the reader ‘to think.’
Just like Halloween stories, the song’s plot makes known several themes.The first of which is obvious in that just like many popular Carroll County Halloween stories, it reveals a snapshot of life in a particular period in history.
But it is the other prominent theme that is particularly disturbing as it peels away the layers of indifference that contemporary society shows towards our fellow human beings – or in the case of “Ode to Billy Joe,” the loss of life.
In present day CarrollCounty, every other public hearing is “Halloween” as this theme often manifests itself in the cavalier manner in which folks will often engage in character assassination in the pursuit of a particular agenda.
In the song the family of the narrator nonchalantly mentions the gentleman’s death: “Billy Joe never had a lick of sense/ pass the biscuits, please.”Of course the narrator of the story cares: “Mama said to me "Child, what's happened to your appetite?I've been cookin' all morning and you haven't touched a single bite.”Other than that, they may as well been having a dinner conversation about the weather.
Happy Halloween.By all means, please enjoy some of the old favorites in Carroll County like the Ghost of Furnace Hills; the Civil War soldier that roams around in Cockey’s Tavern; the ghost of the old Rebecca at the old jail, and the headless apparition of Marshall Buell at the old Odd Fellows Hall in Westminster.
Better yet, the next chance you get, go to the Carroll County Public Library and re-read Harper Lee’s “To Kill a Mockingbird” or Truman Capote’s “In Cold Blood.”
Or, of course, you can attend a good ole’ CarrollCounty public hearing and really see a modern day horror story unfold in real time - “and watch she and Billy Bob throwing public officials off the Rt. 140 Bridge.”
Mary Katherine Ham to Alicia Silverstone: Go Hunting
October 3rd, 2007
Although I have spent a large portion of my life as a vegetarian; as I grew older and life got particularly hectic, I gave it up – for now anyway.Who knows, tomorrow, I may go back.Whatever.
A number of years ago, as I was attempting to reason with an unreasonable person and losing miserably, a colleague said to me:
“You know what your problem is?”
“Ugh.”I really did not need advice at that particular moment; however, I prized his friendship and sheepishly asked: “What?”
“It's a dog eat dog world out there, and you're a vegetarian!"
We solved that by going out to a sub shop where I gave up the anorexic bliss of salads and voraciously scarfed down a cheese-steak sandwich.
It was a road to Damascus experience
I still lose miserably with folks who accept narcissistic fiction as fact, however, I am bigger now and I figure that if I am to be eaten alive, I might as well give folks a flavorful super-sized meal.
Then again, to be candid, I was never good at being a vegetarian.I never stopped eating animal crackers and every once and awhile at Moms, I’d dive into a steak – and I can rarely remember missing turkey at Thanksgiving.
I have a number of colleagues and some family members who are, at the moment, practicing vegetarians - and I respect that choice. Besides, I really like vegetables.Then there are folks who don’t like vegetables or are otherwise broccoli intolerant.To them I say, ya really ought to “give peas a chance.”
A member of my family, who is an avid vegetarian, recently gave some seafood a try.
Bold.
Writing for the Washington Post, Joel Achenbach says:
“Certain kinds of seafood, such as lobster, clams and crabs, are honorary forms of meat, but a small filet of a low-fat white fish should be viewed as essentially a vegetable. Raw oysters are manfood, as is any fish served with the head on and the mouth gaping in horror.
Me, I could live off of Dr. Pepper, coffee and grits.Hey, don’t knock the cooking with Dr. Pepper book.There are some great recipes in there.
I never tried the “vegan” approach.I often wondered how the term came about.When I was quite young I had a great deal of confusion over the term “vegetarian.”If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
Mr. Achenbach calls to our attention a savior for vegans, who every once in awhile, go Jonesing for a milkshake – “soy cows.”
In the column he was initially singing the praises of his new “Fabulator 5000.”
What is a “Fabulator 5000?”I am so glad you asked.I was fascinated about this development since I am still using the Fabulator model No. 1953.
I’ll let Mr. Achenbach ‘splain:
“I love my new food printer, the Fabulator 5000, which makes the previous food printers look not just clunky but positively medieval. There's no more click-and-point nonsense on the screen, no more waiting five or six interminable minutes for the food to print. You just tell the Fab 5 what you want. The food comes out in about three or four seconds, complete with garnish and a complementary wine.”
Oh, the “soy cows?”Apparently Mr. Achenbach recently “took the kids … to Homewood Farm to see a good old-fashioned agricultural enterprise…”
“I got a look at the new soy cows, grazing in the large field just north of the orchard. The USDA apparently felt that soy milk could be produced much more efficiently if it came from cows made of soy. These cows are so green they nearly blend into the landscape. They say the soy milk is a lot better tasting (not as beany, somehow) than the stuff derived from plants, and the soy burgers are more tender. But you've probably read about how the soy cows dry up badly in drought conditions -- they literally wilt -- and even catch fire. Bored teenagers have been blamed for setting some of the cow fires.”
There is much to be appreciated by the vegetarian lifestyle; nevertheless my goal was to not be evangelical about it all.
But – and ya know there was going to be a “but” in here soon – I’ve never been fond of PETA’s Strindbergian gloom and bleakness approach to advocacy.
When I was a practicing vegetarian, invariably, some folks would suggest some linkage to me, a vegetarian, with PETA’s in-your-face humorless lactose intolerant militancy. An approach which often seems more oriented to being obnoxious and annoying instead of being compelling and persuasive to what is otherwise, a perfectly fine lifestyle, vegetarianism, for which PETA routinely does an injustice....
At a local government - social event, a local elected official’s wife was horrified that I was a vegetarian.“How can a big strapping former Marine be a vegetarian,” she gasped.
I solved that in quick order.She was a dog lover and the owner of a huge dog.I mean huge – about the size of a water buffalo.
I asked her if she had ever eaten dog.When I was in the Marines, a South Vietnamese ranger once cooked-up a mess of dog.
It tasted like chicken.
I suggested to my scowling friend that her St. Bernard could feed an entire village…And one wonders why I lost my last election?
Recently Alicia Silverstone did an ad for PETA that has garnered a great deal of attention.I can’t believe that it is winning over any converts to vegetarianism, but it has attracted attention to PETA.
Whether it is really the sort of attention that an advocacy organization wants is a bigger issue for which there is not right or wrong, it just isn’t my cup of tea.
Nevertheless, in age of so much strife and discord, I yearn for a time when peas will rule the planets, and love won’t be such a fuss.I long for the dawn of the age of asparagus.
Enter stage right, Mary Katherine Ham.Ms. Ham has done a spoof on the Ms. Silverstone ad that is a real crack-up.