Showing posts with label Humor Political. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor Political. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Conservative Acquaintance Annoyingly Not Racist | The Onion - America's Finest News Source:

Conservative Acquaintance Annoyingly Not Racist | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

NEWS IN BRIEF • Local • ISSUE 50•06 • Feb 11, 2014

http://www.theonion.com/articles/conservative-acquaintance-annoyingly-not-racist,35236/#

"BROOKLYN, NY—Acknowledging that the man’s right-wing views are more nuanced than one might expect, 36-year-old liberal Diana Hardwick confided to reporters Tuesday that her conservative acquaintance Brady Daniels is, quite frustratingly, not racist."

Read more: http://www.theonion.com/articles/conservative-acquaintance-annoyingly-not-racist,35236/#

'via Blog this'
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Kevin Dayhoff Art: http://www.kevindayhoff.com/ (http://kevindayhoffart.blogspot.com/http://www.kevindayhoffart.com/ New Bedford Herald: http://kbetrue.livejournal.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/kevindayhoff

Google profile: https://profiles.google.com/kevindayhoff/ “Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.” 1 Peter 4:10

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Kevin Dayhoff is an artist - and a columnist for:

Twitter: https://twitter.com/kevindayhoffTwitpic: http://twitpic.com/photos/kevindayhoff
Kevin Dayhoff's The New Bedford Herald: http://kbetrue.livejournal.com/ = www.newbedfordherald.net

Tumblr: Kevin Dayhoff Banana Stems www.kevindayhoff.tumblr.com/
Smurfs: http://babylonfluckjudd.blogspot.com/
Google profile: https://profiles.google.com/kevindayhoff/

E-mail: kevindayhoff(at)gmail.com
My http://www.explorecarroll.com/ columns appear in the copy of the Baltimore Sunday Sun that is distributed in Carroll County: https://subscribe.baltsun.com/Circulation/
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Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Maxine's View On Health Care Reform

Maxine's View On Health Care Reform:

Let me get this straight......we're trying to pass a health care plan written by a committee whose chairman says he doesn't understand it, passed by a Congress that hasn't read it but exempts themselves from it, to be signed by a president that also is exempt from it and hasn't read it and who smokes, with funding administered by a treasury chief who didn't pay his taxes, all to be overseen by a surgeon general who is obese, and financed by a country that's broke.

What the hell could possibly go wrong?

20100307 sdosm Maxines View On Health Care: Medicine Health Care Reform http://kbetrue.livejournal.com/303882.html

http://kevindayhoff.blogspot.com/2010/03/maxines-view-on-health-care.html http://tinyurl.com/yej96vj

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Kevin Dayhoff Soundtrack: http://kevindayhoff.blogspot.com/ = http://www.kevindayhoff.net/ Kevin Dayhoff Art: http://kevindayhoffart.blogspot.com/ or http://kevindayhoffart.com/ = http://www.kevindayhoff.com/ Kevin Dayhoff Westminster: http://kevindayhoffwestgov-net.blogspot.com/ or http://www.westgov.net/ = www.kevindayhoff.org Twitter: https://twitter.com/kevindayhoff Twitpic: http://twitpic.com/photos/kevindayhoff Kevin Dayhoff's The New Bedford Herald: http://kbetrue.livejournal.com/ = www.newbedfordherald.net Explore Carroll: www.explorecarroll.com The Tentacle: www.thetentacle.com

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Kevin Dayhoff Soundtrack: http://www.kevindayhoff.net/ Kevin Dayhoff Art: http://www.kevindayhoffart.com/
My http://www.explorecarroll.com/ columns appear in the copy of the Baltimore Sunday Sun that is distributed in Carroll County: https://subscribe.baltsun.com/Circulation/

Sunday, September 7, 2008

It's Worse Than We Realized

It's Worse Than We Realized

Hat Tip: JAMS

September 6, 2008

This photo evidences a disturbing trend that is beginning to affect wildlife in the U.S.

Animals that were formerly self-sufficient are now showing signs of belonging to the Democratic Party as they have apparently learned to simply sit and wait for the government to provide for their care and sustenance.
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Often when folks ask... I tell them I’m a Republican because I don’t want to grow old waiting for the government to help me.

20080906 It is worse than we realized

Sunday, October 7, 2007

20071006 Scrappleface: CIA May Threaten Detainees with Senate Hearings

Scott Ott – Scrappleface: CIA May Threaten Detainees with Senate Hearings



by Scott Ott (2007-10-06)



According a newly-leaked top-secret document published in The New York Times ‘Classified’ section today, the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) has employed controversial methods to extract information from terror suspects, including threats to put the detainee in front of a Senate committee for further interrogation.


If true, it means that U.S. agents may be using a technique “tantamount to torture,” an unnamed source told the Times.


“I’ve seen those Senate hearings on TV,” the source said. “I’d rather be waterboarded, slapped about the head and assaulted with high-volume Britney Spears music while confined to a meat locker.




Tuesday, February 20, 2007

20070220 Senator Hillary Clinton sports new look


Senator Hillary Clinton sports new look[1]

February 20th, 2007

Senator Hillary Clinton sports new look – wants to stop by and talk with you.

New York Senator Hillary Clinton, seen here emerging from a tattoo parlor and hair salon on the Air Force Hillary One while sitting on tarmac at LAX, remarks, “What good for Britney is good for me. She’s got no more family values than me and after all, I’m much more shallow that Britney any day of the week.”

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[1] Darn it, I had worked for much of the morning with the idea of satirizing Senator Hillary Clinton with material from Britney Spears’ latest life-drama. I went out to lunch and had pancakes with Mom for Shrove Tuesday and came back and there, as big as life was the Scott Ott piece. Well, in all candor, Mr. Ott did a better job – and besides I went ahead and copied his bald-headed Senator Clinton and placed it on a Britney Spears photo. I had been in a slightly different direction, but this turned out better, thanks to Mr. Ott. So, with all respect to Mr. Ott, here is the direction in which I was going. For Mr. Ott’s excellent satire – go here or here.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

20060816 Vota for Mona


“Vota for Mona”

© Kevin Dayhoff

August 16th, 2006


This is the season for signs.


Recently your intrepid blogger found this group of signs at Main Street and the railroad tracks in Westminster MD.


Mystery surrounds just what Ms. Mona Lisa is running for.


In a related matter, we asked Westminster’s administrator of economic development, Stanta Ruchlewicz, about the economic impact of the Carroll County election season. “Well, ya know, it brings dollars into downtown Westminster,” remarked Mr. Ruchlewicz. “Recently it is about the only thing that’s happening in these parts.”


Asked if he knew just what office Ms. Lisa was running for, Mr. Ruchlewicz responded, “Don’t know. Don’t really care as long as the mysterious sign brings money into Westminster. It’s kinda neat, if I may say so myself.”


Jeff Glass, Westminster’s assistant director for parks, buildings, streets, water, wastewater, kitchen sinks, development review, planning, fly swatters, public works, utilities maintenance and the soundtrack division of old silent movies said, “It’s like a Norman Rockwell moment. America at its best.”


Asked how long the sign for Ms. Lisa has been at the intersection, “Don’t know. Been kinda busy recently,” remarked the assistant director for parks, buildings, streets, water, wastewater, kitchen sinks, development review, planning, fly swatters, public works, fleet management, kite flying, road sign, grass clippings removal, utilities maintenance and the soundtrack division of old silent movies.


Marianne Sheehan, the administrative assistant for the assistant director for parks, buildings, streets, water, wastewater, kitchen sinks, development review, planning, fly swatters, public works, fleet management, kite flying, road sign, grass clippings removal, utilities maintenance, letters and art, heavy metal music and the soundtrack division of old silent movies, remarked that the sign “looked good in that location and that it went well with the overall ambiance of downtown Westminster.”


Wayne Reifsnider, the assistant superintendent for streets, buildings, and parks said, “Well, ya know… Well, it’s a free country and people have a right to put up signs on private property, ya know. But I don’t know, ya know. Then on the other hand, well, ya know, it’s a neat sign and I just do my job. Mind my own business, ya know. Well, I best be moving along. See ya.”


More on this developing story as it unravels.

Kevin Dayhoff writes from Westminster Maryland USA. E-mail him at: kdayhoff@carr.org www.thetentacle.com Westminster Eagle Opinion and Winchester Report www.thewestminstereagle.com www.kevindayhoff.com has moved to http://kevindayhoff.blogspot.com/

Tuesday, December 9, 2003

20031209 City of Westminster Capital Improvements Program


Tuesday, December 09, 2003

20031209 City of Westminster Capital Improvements Program

20031209 City of Westminster Capital Improvements Program is best viewed on the New Bedford Herald: http://kbetrue.livejournal.com/133770.html

City of Westminster Capital Improvements Program

Fund/Department: Office of Public Safety/Public Works


Account #: G12.6200

Type: Vehicle – Other

Project Name: Little Brother

ID/File #: 1984 - 17

Contact: Mayor Kevin Dayhoff or Air Marshall Steve Shatzer, Westminster Police Department Aviation Wing or Master Sergeant Thomas Beyard, Westminster Air National Guard.

Priority: Urgent

Date: December 9th, 2003

Description: Flir 2000-A Airborne Thermal Imaging System: It has come to our attention that a complete Flir 2000-A Airborne Thermal Imaging System with 1X and 4X Dual F.O.V. Optics has been available for purchase by the City of Westminster, for only $17,500.00. Sold new this unit was approximately $100,000.00. Of course, this new thermal imaging system is best operated on a helicopter – which will be put in the budget under a separate item.

Location: Key Street Lot

Justification: Homeland Defense

Other Remarks and Operating Considerations - A message to would-be Terrorists, Punks and Thugs. We understand how bored you are with the drab monotony of your everyday life. You hate the jobs we make you take to get money, and have nothing but contempt for us. It's obvious that you increasingly reject our morality, along with all restraint. You steal from us, lie to us, break our laws, mock our culture, and sabotage our technology.

We tolerate 'rebels" with all sorts of causes, but you laugh at us and mock us. What you seem to want is revelry without any cause at all. We recognize every "revolution" to make sure you and your friends won't break out of line everywhere at once, your only goal unlicensed pleasure. We're afraid you'd rather be burning banks, looting malls, crating havoc at City Hall or smashing computers than going to work - our demands are what really bring out the violence in you. This game has gone on long enough. Either you win or we will.

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Kevin Dayhoff: www.westgov.net Westminster Maryland Online www.westminstermarylandonline.net http://kevindayhoffwestgov-net.blogspot.com/

Friday, January 10, 2003

20030110 The Difference between Republicans & Democrats

The Difference between Republicans & Democrats

January 10th, 2003

I did NOT write this but it is beautiful - - and informative…

A Republican and a Democrat were walking down the street when they came to a homeless person. The Republican gave the homeless person his business card and told him to come to his business for a job. He then took twenty dollars out of his pocket and gave it to the homeless person.

The Democrat was very impressed, and when they came to another homeless person, he decided to help. He walked over to the homeless person and gave him directions to the welfare office. He then reached into the Republican’s pocket and got out twenty dollars. He kept $15 for administrative fees and gave the homeless person $5.

Now you understand the difference between Republicans and Democrats.

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Wednesday, February 10, 1999

19990210 The Bronze Rat

The Bronze Rat
(Note: I did NOT write this although I sure wish I had…)
February 10, 1999

A tourist wanders into a back-alley shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed, life-sized bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner what it costs.

"Twelve dollars for the rat, sir," says the shop owner, "and a thousand dollars for the story behind it."

"You can keep the story, old man," he replies, "but I'll take the rat."

The transaction complete, the tourist leaves the store with the bronze rat under his arm.

As he crosses the street in front of the store, two live rats emerge from a sewer drain and fall in step behind him. Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins to walk faster, but every time he passes another sewer drain, more rats come out and follow him.

By the time he's walked two blocks, at least a hundred rats are at his heels, and people begin to point and shout. Multitudes of rats swarm from sewers, basements, vacant lots, and abandoned cars. Rats by the thousands are at his heels, and as he sees the waterfront at the bottom of the hill, he panics and starts to run full tilt.

No matter how fast he runs, the rats keep up, squealing hideously, now not just thousands but millions, so that by the time he comes rushing up to the water's edge a trail of rats twelve city blocks long is behind him.

Making a mighty leap, he jumps onto a light post, grasping it with one arm while he hurls the bronze rat into San Francisco Bay with the other, as far as he can heave it. Pulling his legs up and clinging to the light post, he watches in amazement as the seething tide of rats surges over the breakwater into the sea, where they drown.

Shaken and mumbling, he makes his way back to the antique shop.

"Ah, so you have come back for the rest of the story," says the owner.

"No," says the tourist, "I was wondering if you have a bronze Democrat."

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