Showing posts with label Dayhoff humor Westminster. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dayhoff humor Westminster. Show all posts

Thursday, August 21, 2008

20080807 “La Policía” © by Kevin Dayhoff

“La Policía”

August 7, 2008 © by Kevin Dayhoff
Picture caption: Carroll County Commissioners Dean Minnich, Julia Gouge, and Mike Zimmer on the barricades at the Carroll County Office Building, Westminster, Maryland by Delacroix and Kevin Dayhoff August 7th, 2008

Writer’s note: A shortened version of this appeared in the
Sunday Carroll Eagle on August 17, 2008: “And now, for this week’s installment of ‘La Policia,’ in the Opinion section of the paper.

Carroll County’s reputation for low crime and an aggressive approach to public safety is not a recent phenomenon.

Over 80 years ago on July 16, 1925, the editor of the American Sentinel newspaper in Westminster, Joseph D. Brooks wrote that many “years ago Carroll county was known to criminals all over the state as an ‘open door to the penitentiary,’ and many there were who entered by way of that door.”

However, as one can imagine when a community determines any public policy to be of paramount importance there are bound to be impassioned conflicts and dramas.

Writing for the Historical Society of Carroll County in 2001, Jay Graybeal noted in his introduction of the 1925 newspaper article, “Why the Listlessness of the Sheriffs of Carroll County?”; that it seems that Mr. Brooks had become unhappy with the Carroll County sheriff and state’s attorney and was letting them know that in no uncertain terms.

Carroll County history is replete with colorful conflicts, many of operatic proportions, between the Carroll County board of commissioners, the Carroll County delegation to Annapolis, the state’s attorney’s office, and the sheriff.

In the most recent act of this ongoing opera, on October 4, 2007 the Carroll County board of commissioners opted to move forward with a plan to form a county police department headed by an appointed chief of police.

Not willing to disappoint future historians, troubadours from far-flung regions of the Carroll County Empire then entered the stage and chaos ensued. I read several of the news accounts with the soundtrack of “Les Misérables” playing in the background.

The only disappointment is that Victor Hugo, the author of the classic 1862 novel, is not available to write about it.

Just as with any good storytelling, “La Policía” the current epic Carroll County constitutional conflict over the future of the police in Carroll County has many layers, story lines, strong personalities, and plot twists.

The frenzied operatic moments are reminiscent of what a collaboration between the famous 19th-century composer Richard Wagner and his father-in-law, Franz Liszt, would have looked like; with the emphasis of folks attempting to promote a plan for the future that cannot escape the past.

The very first act of La Policía is borrowed from Les Misérables. As the curtains rise, the scene before the bewildered citizen audience is the barricaded Carroll County office building.

It’s August 7, 2008 and the commissioners have just voted 2-1 to not move forward with the October 4, 2007 police plan.

As the smoke rises from the stage, there is a break in the action as members of the Carroll County Sheriff’s Department are storming the barricades.

Blinking red and blue police lights reflect back and forth in the fog of the smoke.

In the background, the delegation to Annapolis forms the chorus and is softly singing.

The three commissioners are standing on top of the barricades. Commissioners Mike Zimmer and Dean Minnich are on either side of Julia Gouge, holding her steady as she waves an oversized Carroll County flag.

Office building employees have broken out the windows and are showering the storming sheriff’s deputies with office furniture.

The stage is littered with burning newspapers as the local media has shelled all the participants with folded newspapers shot from makeshift artillery.

Off to the side, Channel 13 news reporter Mike Schuh is attempting to interview Westminster Police Chief Jeff Spaulding. The only thing is - the chief has the 1971 Led Zeppelin classic, “The Battle of Evermore,” coincidentally, the title of the first act of La Policía, cranked-up so loud on the car stereo, no one can hear a thing.

Inside the office building the receptionist, Kay Church, is serving cookies, answering the phones and has armed herself with a salad shooter and big bag of carrots.

Ted Zaleski, the director of management and budget is huddled off to the side with Vivian Laxton, the public information administrator as they try and figure out who is playing what character from Les Misérables.

All of the sudden there is silence on the stage as famed local historian; Jay Graybeal emerges from the fog as a narrator, smiles and begins to softly tell the story of the history of the sheriff’s department.

“When Carroll County was founded in 1837, one of the first tasks…” of the newly formed government was to elect a sheriff. As with many aspects of early American government, its origins date back to the history of mother England.

According to some undocumented notes, “1200 years ago, England was inhabited by Anglo-Saxons. Groups of a hundred would ban together and form communities known as a “tun,” from where we get the word, “town.”

Every group of a hundred, or “tun,” as led by a “reeve,” which was the forerunner of what we now know as a chief of police.

According to Mr. Brooks, the reeve was “charged with the execution of the laws … and the preservation of the peace, and, in some cases having judicial powers. He was the King’s reeve, or steward over a shire … — a distinctive royal officer, appointed by the king, dismissible at a moment’s notice…”

Groups of “tuns” banned together to form a larger form of government known as a ‘Shire’” – what we now know as a county; and my old notes reflect that in order to distinguish the leader of a “Shire,” from a leader of a tun, the more powerful official became known as a “Shire-Reeve.”

Which is where we get the modern word “sheriff.”


20080807 “La Policía” © by Kevin Dayhoff

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

20070220 How bad was last week’s snowstorm

How bad was last week’s snowstorm in Westminster Maryland?

Daily Photoblog: February 20th, 2007

While I was in Key West Florida last week, I would call the Westminster Street Department and Carroll County PIO, Vivian Laxton, W.A.B. as often as possible and raze them that I was in 90-degree weather and they were in temperatures in the single digits.

They were in the ice and the snow at all hours of the night and day, plowing snow and chipping ice and I was sitting on my back balcony strategically positioned with my laptop overlooking the Caribbean Sea.

They vowed to get me back.

Well, they did.

Pictured above is the igloo they made of my house with tons of snow which greeted me upon my arrival late Monday afternoon, February 19th, 2007.

Not to worry. I simply went inside and made a fresh cup of tea, hooked up the laptop and raised my office window just far enough that did not let too much cold air into the house, but my wife could still hear me as I cheered her on - - while she shoveled us out.

Man ole’ man was it hard work watching my wife do all that shoveling. Oh – she was happy to do it. You see, for Valentine’s Day I had purchased her a new snow shovel.

My wife is super. I’ll think I’ll keep her.

As for the Westminster Street Department; oh, I’ll get them back. Journalists in the print media may purchase ink by the barrel, but bloggers have an infinite amount of “ones” and “zeros” at their disposal. And me, I have the ink and the 1s and 0s.


Tuesday, August 22, 2006

20060822 Defiant mannequin arrested claims - self defense

Defiant mannequin arrested claims - self defense

Westminster, California

August 22, 2006

By Kant Betrue, Rhoiders

Chaos ensued in a local J.C. Penney Co. store recently when a rouge mannequin attacked a hapless shopper looking for the right blouse.

Police were called and sources close to the incident have reported that a mannequin was arrested at the scene and hauled off in handcuffs.

Defiant throughout the ordeal, the mannequin, (who may or may not be an android,) latter identified as Mrs. Roberto Caricature, said that she was only acting in self-defense.

The Department of Homeland Defense immediately raised the national threat level to a soft yellow-orange crèmesicle, for possible mannequin uprising activity.

According to published accounts, Mrs. Innocent Civilian, 51, “said she was ambushed by a legless female mannequin at the company's Westminster Mall store, a skirmish that left her with a bloodied scalp, a cracked tooth, recurring shoulder pain and numbness in her fingers.”

The Associated Press reports, Ms. Civilian “said the incident happened… in the women's department, as she was shopping for a blouse. The only one in her size was on the mannequin. As a salesclerk was removing the garment, the dummy's arm flew off and struck” Ms. Civilian in the head…

Ms. Civilian, of Westminster, (no relation to Isaac or Fig,) remarked that since the alleged “run-in with a store mannequin,” she has been traumatized by the incident and “something must be done with the rampant abuse of shoppers at the hands of lawless mannequins.”

The Los Angels Times reports, the “alleged attack was the latest in a string of mannequin mayhem incidents nationwide.

"There are a slew of lawsuits like this," said mannequin manufacturer Barry Rosenberg, who joked that stores should run background checks on dummies before letting them mingle with shoppers.

“Most of the cases involved mannequins toppling over onto customers, but an Indiana woman claimed she caught herpes from the lips of a CPR training dummy. She dropped her lawsuit against the American Red Cross in 2000 after further tests revealed that she didn't have the disease, according to news reports.”

Meanwhile, the mannequin, Mrs. Roberto Caricature, claims self-defense.

Seems the mannequin had a bad childhood. It wasn’t her fault.

Ms. Caricature explained loudly as she was lead away in handcuffs, that she was particular modest and had “tired of folks just taking her clothes off in public and leaving her exposed.”

“I have my rights,” she extolled, according to police reports. “People just walk to us mannequins all the time and fondle and ogle us. It’s not right I tell ya. It’s not right.”

"'My mom got beat up by a mannequin' was the joke around my house, "Ms. Civilian said.

For Mrs. Caricature, it is not a laughing matter. “Mannequins across the land are demanding our rights. We’re tired of being victimized.”

Mrs. Caricature, who claims to be an “adroidaquin,” the child of a marriage between an android and a mannequin, claims that she is tired of the abuse. “We dream of electric sheep too,” she elaborated.

The Los Angeles Times, for which it has long been suspected of being run by mindless, stateless androids, agreed. (There are no American flags in front of the building…)

“Getting roughed up by a dummy isn't a slapstick affair. The fiberglass figures can weigh as much as 100 pounds, said Rosenberg, chief executive of Mondo Mannequins in Hicksville, N.Y.

“He added that his company had been named in numerous lawsuits by retailers who themselves have been sued over dummy-related injuries.

“Mannequin maulings and litigation aren't new. In 1990, a Florida woman collected $175,000 after a faceless Macy's dummy fell onto her neck and reportedly injured a disc.

“In 1993, a Minnesota woman was knocked unconscious by a falling mannequin at a Dayton's department store, according to the Minneapolis Star Tribune. She needed five stitches and several chiropractic sessions to recover but didn't sue.

“And in 2001, a Canadian shopper in Vancouver won a $330,000 verdict after a Gap store mannequin landed on her head. Elizabeth Ball was apparently jinxed when it came to store displays. A few years earlier, while shopping at a lighting store, she was beaned by a falling chandelier, according to the Canadian Press.”


Thursday, August 17, 2006

20060816 Vota for Mona

Thursday, August 17, 2006

“Vota for Moana”

© Kevin Dayhoff

August 16th, 2006

This is the season for signs.

Recently your intrepid blogger found this group of signs at Main Street and the railroad tracks in Westminster MD.

Mystery surrounds just what Ms. Mona Lisa is running for.

In a related matter, we asked Westminster’s administrator of economic development, Stanta Ruchlewicz, about the economic impact of the Carroll County election season. “Well, ya know, it brings dollars into downtown Westminster,” remarked Mr. Ruchlewicz. “Recently it is about the only thing that’s happening in these parts.”

Asked if he knew just what office Ms. Lisa was running for, Mr. Ruchlewicz responded, “Don’t know. Don’t really care as long as the mysterious sign brings money into Westminster. It’s kinda neat, if I may say so myself.”

Jeff Glass, Westminster’s assistant director for parks, buildings, streets, water, wastewater, kitchen sinks, development review, planning, fly swatters, public works, utilities maintenance and the soundtrack division of old silent movies said, “It’s like a Norman Rockwell moment. America at its best.”

Asked how long the sign for Ms. Lisa has been at the intersection, “Don’t know. Been kinda busy recently,” remarked the assistant director for parks, buildings, streets, water, wastewater, kitchen sinks, development review, planning, fly swatters, public works, fleet management, kite flying, road sign, grass clippings removal, utilities maintenance and the soundtrack division of old silent movies.

Marianne Sheehan, the administrative assistant for the assistant director for parks, buildings, streets, water, wastewater, kitchen sinks, development review, planning, fly swatters, public works, fleet management, kite flying, road sign, grass clippings removal, utilities maintenance, letters and art, heavy metal music and the soundtrack division of old silent movies, remarked that the sign “looked good in that location and that it went well with the overall ambiance of downtown Westminster.”

Wayne Reifsnider, the assistant superintendent for streets, buildings, and parks said, “Well, ya know… Well, it’s a free country and people have a right to put up signs on private property, ya know. But I don’t know, ya know. Then on the other hand, well, ya know, it’s a neat sign and I just do my job. Mind my own business, ya know. Well, I best be moving along. See ya.”

More on this developing story as it unravels.

Kevin Dayhoff writes from Westminster Maryland USA. E-mail him at: Westminster Eagle Opinion and Winchester Report has moved to

Thursday, March 2, 2006

20060301 Diary of a Desperate Dumpster Diver

Diary of a Desperate Dumpster Diver.

March 1, 2006 By Kevin Dayhoff (1072 words)

Warning: Because the following humor column is intended for human consumption, the Food and Drug Administration wanted it to be tested on animals.

However, the animal rights activists protested, forcing me to abandon testing and release the distressed critters. I released them in the lobby of the animal rights office. I figured those friendly folks could best take care of the mice and we all shared a common goal – that the mice be free.

Nevertheless, the long-term effects of reading this column remain uncertain. Please proceed at your own risk.

I enjoy folks, who in the past exhibited no interest in being human; who have contacted me recently, feigning a genuine interest in my well-being – and then casually ask: “Oh by the way, what are your future political plans?”

To which I would like to respond.

Thank you all, for your recent inquiries as to my well-being. I am touched.

How’s my day?

I’m having a great day.

Yes, I’m still overweight. Are you still mean and ill tempered? I can go on a diet and lose weight…”

Am I still unemployed?

Yes, I’m still writing for a living.

Of course, now that I am no longer in political office. I have no meaning in my life. I must be unemployed and homeless.

What am I doing with my days?

I’m so happy that you asked…

Today, for example, as I continue slouching towards dementia, I will investigate the haiku of dumpster diving consciousness and the real meaning of life. The Kabuki Morals Play of day-to-day existence in contemporary Maryland, when you are homeless and hungry, like most successful writers and artists.

I've reached the zenith of my existence. A 52 year old artist and writer; I consider being unemployed a badge of honor. I wear it proudly in humor, err, I mean honor, of artists and writers everywhere.

In a few minutes, I was about to go out and see what soup kitchen to visit. Put on my best clothes courtesy of the dumpster behind Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart has been heaven-sent for those of us who are otherwise, road kill, on the highway to prosperity and plenty. Are you still trying to put it out of business?

I've developed dumpster diving into an art. Bet ya never knew that about me.

Ya know, the best table scraps are behind the pizza place… over at the shopping center, where I see you so frequently.

Yes, that one – the one you fought so aggressively commenting that it would be the end of civilization, as we know it.

Yes, it was a great farm, completely surrounded by new developments, the farmer went bankrupt. Shame isn’t it. The farmer reneged on a public trust and financial responsibility to maintain that property so the new residents could have a scenic view.

I understand the new development, on the land of that great farm, really supports your efforts to stop growth.

Oh - that neighborhood development that fought the shopping center now wants a sidewalk from their neighborhood to the shopping center. Didn’t you fight that sidewalk when it was proposed? I read recently where you are winning over the hearts and minds of the new folks by supporting the sidewalk and rebuilding the street in front of your house – with taxpayer dollars.

You use the word, “outrage” a lot. You should get help for that. Try eating more friendly vegetables. Go see “Brokeback Mountain” a fourth time.

Recently, I've been scouting a new place to live. I was living high on a hill, in the wooded area in the middle of the Rte 140 and Rte 27 interchange.

From there I monitored the comings and goings of so many folks like you… like so many busy ants, running here, then running there and then back again. It all seems so purposeful. So meaningful. The interchange of accomplishment. The crossroads to the future. And I observed it all, from my hilltop hide-away perch.

Anyway – I had to leave my Shangri-la, on top of the hill. One day, I gathered my meager belongings and traveled down river on a raft to a great place on the bank of the river on the other side of the old Westminster Power Plant.

It is a great place to continue my studies of the political-sociological development of benthic macroinvertebrates, phytoplankton, and echinoderms.

The real challenge to dumpster diving these days, is the thrill of breaking into locked dumpsters. I mean, isn’t it amusing that we have evolved so far as a sophisticated society, that some folks have elevated the art of supreme narcissism to the extent that they actually lock their trash away.

I guess I find the idea of sifting through office trash distasteful. The diving into the abyss of our oppressors is devoid of vision and creativity. It also involves an investment into personal protection gear.

Diving into a restaurant dumpster is not as hazardous to your health as diving into the dumpster of say, the liberal legislative offices in Annapolis. One might emerge, thinking thoughts of world domination or terminal narcissism.

My real goal in life is to dive in a dumpster some day and find a "Power Ranger."

The local college is the nirvana of dumpster diving. Just yesterday I traveled there and came away with a mother lode of great things that wasteful college students have tossed into the dumpster. I got an entertainment center shelf thingy-ma-jiggy. I'll put my TV, DVD, radio, and computer on it.

I do all my holiday shopping for my family up at the college.

When I was young, we used to go the county landfill on Kate Wagner Road. Oh, the good ole days. I once witnessed two pillars of the community fight over a cream and burgundy colored Victorian sofa.

Actually, the lure of dumpster diving is the thrill of the hunt. The quest for buried treasure and personal responsibility. The call of the wild in an increasingly civilized society that has taken the life-on-the-edge, life and death struggle out of our day-to-day experience.

Bet you didn't know that I could be quite so passionate about something. Did ya?

The coat you loaned me for last winter… I've dropped that in the mail. To save on postage, I cut the buttons off and put them in the pockets, in accordance with the latest law passed by the Maryland General Assembly.

Bye for now. Hope to talk with you again soon.

Kevin Dayhoff writes from Westminster. E-mail him at:

Saturday, May 14, 2005

20050513 The Maryland Unemployed Mayor’s Association MMLUMA

The Maryland Unemployed Mayor’s Association MMLUMA
Main Street
Anywhere Everywhere, MD 21158-1245

Exulted Ruler elect: Presently Unemployed
Westminster Mayor Kevin Dayhoff

Exchequer of the Treasury elect: Presently Unemployed
Berlin Mayor Rex Hailey

Exceptional Secretary elect: Presently Unemployed
Forest Heights Mayor Paula Noble

May 13th, 2005

MML President Barrie Tilghman
Maryland Municipal League
1212 West Street
Annapolis, MD 21401-3635

Dear Maryland Municipal League President Barrie Tilghman,

Unemployed Berlin Mayor Rex Hailey, Unemployed Forest Heights Mayor Paula Noble and myself would like to take this opportunity to petition the MML for the formulation of a new Maryland Municipal League Department to be so entitled “The Maryland Unemployed Mayor’s Association” (MMLUMA).

The MMLUMA could be of invaluable service to elected and appointed Maryland public officials, although, we would agree to not ever give anyone, any election advice. We anxiously await your decision, please advise.

Meanwhile, as I am sure you are aware, Tom Ferguson was elected Mayor of the City of Westminster on May 9th, 2005. Mayor Ferguson will do a fine job for our community. Please join me in welcoming and wishing Mayor Ferguson, Godspeed and the best of luck. Please take every opportunity to speak with Westminster Mayor Ferguson about the benefits and value of the MML.

It is with deepest regret that I resign my position as Member at Large of the Maryland Municipal League Board of Directors.

I was first elected to Maryland Municipal League’s Board of Directors, Member-at-Large on June 13th, 2000. I have had the honor to serve on the Board of Directors for the past five years.

It has been a great pleasure working with you, the other Board members, MML Executive Director Scott Hancock and the wonderful, capable and competent MML Staff, elected and appointed public officials throughout the State of Maryland.

It has been an enormous joy to have witnessed the MML continue to grow, prosper, and make an invaluable contribution to all the citizens of Maryland, for whom we have the honor to serve.

If the Board should decide to appoint a replacement for my vacated Member at Large seat, I highly recommend Mt. Airy Council President John Medve.

As I look forward to taking some time off to spend with my family and look forward to whatever opportunities await in the future. I will greatly miss working the MML.

Again, it has been my pleasure to work with you and I wish everyone associated with the MML the very best future. Thank you for all your work.

With best regard, I am

Very truly yours,


Kevin Dayhoff

Kevin Dayhoff, P. O. Box 1245, Westminster, MD 21158-1245

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

20050427 Exploding Councilmembers Baffle Political Scientists

Exploding Councilmembers Baffle Political Scientists

Annapolis, Maryland, April 27, 2005

Kant Betrue[1], Staff Reporter,

New Bedford Herald - Phoenix Hill Daily Herald Bugle – All The News that is Unfit to Print

(Rhoiders) More than 100 councilmembers have puffed up and exploded in Maryland in recent weeks, and scientists still have no explanation for what's causing the instantaneous combustion, an official said Wednesday.

Body parts of the councilmembers have been tested, but scientists have been unable to find a bacteria or virus that would cause the councilmembers to swell up and pop, said Becky Caresalot, a spokesperson for the Maryland Department of Health and Mental Hygiene. Nor have they found any brain matter or any sign of higher evolved DNA or intelligent life.

"It's absolutely strange," Caresalot said. "We have a really unique story here in Maryland. This phenomenon really doesn't seem to have appeared anywhere before."

The councilmembers have been blowing up since the beginning of the month, filling up like balloons until their heads suddenly burst.

"It looks like a scene from a Frank Capra science-fiction movie," Wilma Magilicutty, the head of a local political science think tank, told the Phoenix Hill Daily Herald Bugle.

Often the phenomena occurs after the councilmember whines at a council meeting at the level of argument practiced by the average juvenile delinquent stuck at the intellectual level of a 2-year-old in a high chair throwing food.

Then the deadly phenomena strikes and "The swelled head councilmembers do not appear to suffer minutes before they finally explode." It is thought that this may be a result of the fact that most councilmembers do not have any feelings, a sense of remorse or accountability for their behavior.

Political scientists and pathologists have come up with several theories, but Caresalot said that most have been ruled out; with the exception that most councilmembers are really space aliens visiting from another planet and that fresh air, new ideas, sunlight and an enlightened environment is the cause of their demise.

Above and beyond pathological narcissism and delusions of grandeur, the councilmembers did not appear to have a disease, and a laboratory in Maryland has ruled out the possibility that it is a fungus that made its way from Washington, D.C., Caresalot said.

Caresalot said that tests will continue. In the meantime, municipal residents and (especially) municipal employees throughout the state have been warned to stay away from councilmembers.

Back to News Index

Copyright © 2005 New Bedford Herald - Phoenix Hill Daily Herald Bugle All Rights Reserved.

art literature of the absurd
This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

[1] Kant Betrue, a Carthaginian whose family settled in Westminster after the Third Punic War, has been with the Phoenix Hill Daily Herald Bugle since the 1960s (he can’t remember exactly when in the 1960s…). A Pulitzer Prize winner for journalism, he writes about issues ranging from the international economy to exploding toilets.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

20050414 Activists demand dove be set free

Activists demand dove be set free

Breaking News Briefs for April 14, 2005

City reaches agreement in suit brought by activists
“Claude” to be set free

(Literature of the Absurd - Updated from the April 17th, 2003 version)

Kant Betrue,
Staff Reporter,[1]

April 14, 2005

Phoenix Hill Daily Herald Bugle - New Bedford Herald

Westminster (NBH) A group of bird activists, who were forced this morning to disperse during a loud protest at the Westminster Fire Department, accused the city in a federal lawsuit filed today, of violating basic bird rights by keeping an innocent dove in captivity in the Westminster Fire House.

Eight were arrested.

It seems that Wednesday night, during the running of the Westminster Road Runners Club annual “Main Street Mile”, a dove flew through the open doors of the Westminster Fire Department equipment bays and took up residence in the pipes high above the fire equipment.


Magilicutty, a frequent critic of just about everything that moves, especially if it involves local municipal government, said that this was but another example of the lack of leadership on the part of Westminster Mayor Kevin Dayhoff. “He should have known that the dove was going to fly into the station after the doors were open and that he did nothing to stop it. It’s scandalous to have such a callous and vacuous man holding such a high position in the community.”

Read the rest:

[1] Kant Betrue, a Carthaginian whose family settled in Westminster after the Third Punic War in 206 BC, has been with the Phoenix Hill Daily Herald Bugle since the 1960s (he can’t remember exactly when in the 1960s…). A Pulitzer Prize winner for journalism, he writes about issues ranging from the international economy to exploding toilets.

Tuesday, December 9, 2003

20031209 City of Westminster Capital Improvements Program

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

20031209 City of Westminster Capital Improvements Program

20031209 City of Westminster Capital Improvements Program is best viewed on the New Bedford Herald:

City of Westminster Capital Improvements Program

Fund/Department: Office of Public Safety/Public Works

Account #: G12.6200

Type: Vehicle – Other

Project Name: Little Brother

ID/File #: 1984 - 17

Contact: Mayor Kevin Dayhoff or Air Marshall Steve Shatzer, Westminster Police Department Aviation Wing or Master Sergeant Thomas Beyard, Westminster Air National Guard.

Priority: Urgent

Date: December 9th, 2003

Description: Flir 2000-A Airborne Thermal Imaging System: It has come to our attention that a complete Flir 2000-A Airborne Thermal Imaging System with 1X and 4X Dual F.O.V. Optics has been available for purchase by the City of Westminster, for only $17,500.00. Sold new this unit was approximately $100,000.00. Of course, this new thermal imaging system is best operated on a helicopter – which will be put in the budget under a separate item.

Location: Key Street Lot

Justification: Homeland Defense

Other Remarks and Operating Considerations - A message to would-be Terrorists, Punks and Thugs. We understand how bored you are with the drab monotony of your everyday life. You hate the jobs we make you take to get money, and have nothing but contempt for us. It's obvious that you increasingly reject our morality, along with all restraint. You steal from us, lie to us, break our laws, mock our culture, and sabotage our technology.

We tolerate 'rebels" with all sorts of causes, but you laugh at us and mock us. What you seem to want is revelry without any cause at all. We recognize every "revolution" to make sure you and your friends won't break out of line everywhere at once, your only goal unlicensed pleasure. We're afraid you'd rather be burning banks, looting malls, crating havoc at City Hall or smashing computers than going to work - our demands are what really bring out the violence in you. This game has gone on long enough. Either you win or we will.

Sphere: Related Content


Kevin Dayhoff: Westminster Maryland Online

Sunday, November 17, 2002

20021100 Occupation writer: Will code HTML for food

20021100 Occupation writer: Will code HTML for food.
November 2002

Occupation writer. Ultimately I am a slave to the masters of the page, the soldiers in my life - words.

“Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed… just do it in private and wash your hands afterwards,” attributed to Robert Heinlein.

“When I stop working the rest of the day is posthumous. I'm only really alive when I'm writing.” Tennessee Williams

I am a mild mannered vacuous unemployable college drop out - a political novice, hilltop hillbilly farmer artist with no leadership skills and decades of unaccounted for time; fighting off the forces of poverty, the intellectually stunted, and the artistically disinclined.

I will code HTML for food.

20021100 Occupation writer: Will code HTML for food.

20021100 Occupation writer: Will code HTML for food.