Showing posts with label Dayhoff literature of the absurd. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dayhoff literature of the absurd. Show all posts

Thursday, November 26, 2009

The arrival of the spacecraft in Westminster

“The arrival of the spacecraft behind Willis Street in Westminster” by Kevin Dayhoff November 25, 2009

It was the night before Thanksgiving in 2009 when it happened.

When the spacecraft first landed at the old Westminster Playground; no one, at first, quite knew what to do…

Crickey, folks were flummoxed.

This picture was captured by happenstance and shows homes along the otherwise quiet, tree-lined, and bucolic Willis Street in Westminster, to be silhouetted by the bright landing lights of the craft.

Was it an attack by Cylons? Or perhaps it was an invasion of intergalactic Velociraptors

Oh no…

Wait a minute. It’s. It’s. Holy @!@$%^$$%...

We’ve suspected all along that “they” are among us.

Various folks have had dreams of android cattle. Could this be the beginning of the attack of the chrome toasters?

Persons around town have appeared to have siren Cylon tendencies, in which it has been suspected that a Six copy has been downloaded into their bodies.

They are seductive and they look the part and have the correct vocabulary, but there is no there – there and the results are hollow.

They were first suspected to have landed sometime in May 2005. Some do a great job with press releases.

It was a sensational story but only maintained a fugacious claim on the public's attention; as if it happened on a pair of fast chucks.

[20091125 Willis St arrival] Dayhoff Daily Photoblog, Dayhoff literature of the absurd, Dayhoff photos, Dayhoff photos Westminster, Politics Moonbat(s)

http://kevindayhoff.blogspot.com/2009/11/arrival-of-spacecraft-in-westminster.html http://tinyurl.com/yln46do

Was it an attack by Cylons? Or perhaps it was an invasion of intergalactic Velociraptors http://tinyurl.com/yln46do http://twitpic.com/qzb9f http://kevindayhoff.tumblr.com/post/257974600/was-it-an-attack-by-cylons-or-perhaps-it-was-an


*****

Kevin Dayhoff Soundtrack: http://www.kevindayhoff.net/ Kevin Dayhoff Art: http://www.kevindayhoffart.com/ Kevin Dayhoff Westminster: http://www.westgov.net/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/kevindayhoff Twitpic: http://twitpic.com/photos/kevindayhoff Kevin Dayhoff's The New Bedford Herald: http://kbetrue.livejournal.com/

*****
Kevin Dayhoff Soundtrack: http://www.kevindayhoff.net/ Kevin Dayhoff Art: http://www.kevindayhoffart.com/
My http://www.explorecarroll.com/ columns appear in the copy of the Baltimore Sunday Sun that is distributed in Carroll County: https://subscribe.baltsun.com/Circulation/

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Local University to ban eating ice cream on campus


A leading “Local University” will be an ice cream-free campus, according to recent widely circulated media reports. (Click here for a larger image: http://twitpic.com/plzlw )

November 14, 2009 by Kant BeTrue New Bedford Herald http://tinyurl.com/yck8ubq

The policy was announced last Wednesday by university officials as they sipped bottled water and munched on simulated fiber-bars, Manhattan style fish assholes and giant curried water bugs. (Click here for a larger image of the “Red Curry Giant Water Bugs: http://twitpic.com/plzzd )

University officials expressed pride at becoming “Maryland's first four-year college to ban an activity once as commonplace as lounging on the quad,” according to one local newspaper.

The sloth-like “lounging in the quad” is also under consideration to be banned. “We want a healthy – and all-conforming campus, that is obedient and health-conscious,” said officials.

“The reason for the policy, which goes into effect in August, is simple, administrators said: They want to reduce health risks from (eating ice cream) and secondhand exposure to (obese students.”)

"I don't try to guide people in how they live their lives, but I am going to protect the campus so it's clean and pleasant for as many people as possible," said the Local University President, Dr. Knowles Jerry-Ben, known affectionately on campus as “Dr. Kno,” who cited a study by The Center for Science in the Public Interest.

Eating ice cream is decadent, indulgent, and delicious, however, the consumer watchdog group is warning many ice cream treats are “coronaries in cones.” Many top brands contain huge amounts of calories and saturated fats said CSPI.

According to one publication, which reported upon the study, “the researchers were astounded at the calories and saturated fat content in a single cone of many products sold by companies like Baskin-Robbins, Ben & Jerry's and Haagen-Dazs.”

Local University has concurrently announced that all products manufactured by Baskin-Robbins, Ben & Jerry's and Haagen-Dazs are not only banned on campus, but also prohibited within a ten-mile radius of the university campus.

Also, all local rallies and celebrations of National Ice Cream Day, usually held every year on July 15, are also now banned. Defiant demonstrators will be dealt with sternly, warned one official as he manically munched on the cardboard wrapper of a simulated fiber-bar.

When asked to comment on a Frederick News-Post article from 2007 that noted “In 1984, President Reagan designated National Ice Cream Day and declared July to be National Ice Cream Month,” one university official belched that President Ronald Reagan and any reference to the former president or his words or “utterances” is now deemed “hate-speech” and also banned on campus.

The news account had cited that “Reagan recognized ice cream as a fun and nutritious food enjoyed by 90 percent of the nation's population, according to the website for the International Dairy Foods Association.

One university official reminded the audience that the International Dairy Foods Association – the IDFA - is now on the Obama administration’s terrorist watch list for propagandizing that “The average amount of ice cream consumed in the United States on any given day in July is 5.3 million gallons.”

The inquiring reporter was immediately – and forcibly - removed from the news conference in handcuffs for asking questions considered seditious in tenor and rebellious in nature.

As the reporter, B. P. Ward of the Potomac Publishing Co., was dragged from the room, he shouted, “George Washington spent $200 on ice cream in the summer of 1790 – that’s a lot of money for back then.”

To which several university officials responded that any reference to President Washington is also seditious… and now banned.

Meanwhile, a published account noted that “Everyone knows that ice cream isn’t a health food, acknowledges the U.S.-based food sleuths famed for blowing the whistle on movie theatre popcorn and MSG in Chinese takeout,” which are also already banned from the campus.

The published account on the perils of ice cream noted, “A CSPI study released Wednesday found a regular scoop of premium ice cream provides 250 to 350 calories and half a day's worth of artery clogging saturated fat.

“‘That's twice what you'd get in a supermarket ice cream like Bryers,’ nutritionist Jayne Hurley told a Washington press conference.

“It can get worse. The food police say a large vanilla shake from Baskin-Robbins has more than 1,000 calories and 32 grams of saturated fat. That's like eating three McDonald's Quarter Pounders.”

All McDonald’s products have been banned from the university campus for some time, noted university officials.

“Hurley even had a warning about empty cones.

“‘This empty chocolate dipped waffle cone from Ben & Jerry's is the equivalent to a half pound rack of baby backribs…”

Waffles, baby backribs and all meat are also banned from the campus, university officials said with noticeable pride, while spitting-out giant water bug shells.
(Click here for a larger image of the Manhattan style fish: http://twitpic.com/pm08r )

Recently ABC News Medical Unit reported that “While the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention consistently report that meat is the number one cause of foodborne illness, they are not the only foods to be wary of.

“A new report from the Center for Science in the Public Interest found that a number of food poisoning cases are caused by some unexpected foods, including leafy greens, potatoes, and ice cream.”

Local University officials said that a ban on leafy greens and potatoes is also under consideration, which cited that, the “CSPI reported that leafy greens, including spinach, lettuce, and cabbage, were responsible for 363 outbreaks between 1990 and 2006 and caused 13,568 cases of illness.”

Eating hamburgers and all meat products, waffles, ice cream, popcorn, and Chinese food is “already banned in campus buildings at (Local University,) but under the new rules, it will be off-limits on the grounds: on sidewalks, in garages and parking lots, and even outside the bar … at the local bistro.”

Local University “joins a rapidly growing list of U.S. colleges - at least 365, according to the (American Say No to Ice Cream Rights Foundation) - that have banned (eating ice cream) on campus.”

According to a local publication: “Last year, Montgomery College became the first Maryland institution of higher education to take the leap. Harford, Frederick, and Carroll community colleges have followed suit. Pennsylvania's university system has banned (eating ice cream) on all of its campuses.”

Dr. Kno “said a survey found that a very small percentage of students and faculty (eat ice cream) and that those who do, (eat ice cream) less frequently than they did in the past. The policy encountered some opposition from student leaders.”

However, all opposition, dialogue, and discussion of university policies have long been banned on campus, following recent successful attempts at banning any opposition to the Ruling Party, on both the state and national level.

Some students “wondered if the university will be able to enforce the rule, noting that a current ban on (eating ice cream) within 30 feet of school buildings is only loosely followed.”

Directing their attention to the 30-foot rule, university officials deny that students have been beaten for violating the rules; however, a small number of students were imprisoned last year for eating ice cream.

University officials, speaking on the condition of animosity, said, that the arrests and incarcerations will continue until the mood and moral of the campus improves and conformity abounds.

“Students and staff members who violate the rules will face fines and sanctions. Visitors who” eat ice cream “may be barred from future access to the 328-acre campus,” and sent to a fat-farm for re-education…

“Some students said the ban on (ice cream) will improve campus.”

“By not having eating ice cream on campus, kids will stop eating ice cream,” said a senior, “can world peace be too far away as a result?”


-30 ½ -

Kant Betrue, a Carthaginian with a Doctorate in Modern Anxiety and a minor in ennui; whose family settled in Westminster after the Third Punic War, has been with the New Bedford Herald since the 1960s (he can’t remember exactly when in the 1960s…). A Pulverized Prize winner for journalism, he writes about issues ranging from the international syntactic semiotic economics to avatars of hyper-theoretical exploding toilets.

Local University to ban eating ice cream on campus #art #PC http://tinyurl.com/yck8ubq http://twitpic.com/plzlw

Click here for a larger image of poison-labeled ice cream art: http://twitpic.com/plzlw

Red curried giant water bugs at university to ban eating ice cream on campus http://tinyurl.com/yck8ubq http://twitpic.com/plzzd

Click here for a larger image of the “Red Curry Giant Water Bugs: http://twitpic.com/plzzd

Manhattan style fish %#&holes at university to ban eating ice cream on campus http://tinyurl.com/yck8ubq http://twitpic.com/pm08r

Click here for a larger image of the Manhattan style fish: http://twitpic.com/pm08r

*****

Kevin Dayhoff Soundtrack: http://www.kevindayhoff.net/ Kevin Dayhoff Art: http://www.kevindayhoffart.com/ Kevin Dayhoff Westminster: http://www.westgov.net/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/kevindayhoff Twitpic: http://twitpic.com/photos/kevindayhoff Kevin Dayhoff's The New Bedford Herald: http://kbetrue.livejournal.com/
*****
Kevin Dayhoff Soundtrack: http://www.kevindayhoff.net/ Kevin Dayhoff Art: http://www.kevindayhoffart.com/
My http://www.explorecarroll.com/ columns appear in the copy of the Baltimore Sunday Sun that is distributed in Carroll County: https://subscribe.baltsun.com/Circulation/

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The Journalist and the snallygaster


Journalist may have been startled by snallygaster at city meeting - The snallygasters of Westminster’s Emerald Hill

The Westminster city council report by Kevin Dayhoff October 26, 2009 http://tinyurl.com/yhnjnb6

Click here for a larger image: http://twitpic.com/n4dt9 or here: http://kevindayhoff.tumblr.com/post/224678669/journalist-may-have-been-startled-by-snallygaster

Unforeseen drama erupted last Monday night, on October 26, 2009, just days before Halloween; as the bright light of a snallygaster suddenly shone upon Carroll County Times writer Bryan Schutt.

All the while, Mr. Schutt kept a steady and wary eye on the “witch” seated directly in front of him while he covered the meeting of the Westminster mayor and Common Council well into the dark of the night.

Outside, the winds howled, dogs barked and the moon winked from behind passing dark clouds as the august common council body deliberated passionately upon the various imperatives of the small principality in the shining white castle on Emerald Hill – Westminster City Hall.

In the background, calm and oblivious to the sudden appearance of the snallygaster, were Westminster volunteer fire department president Bill Brehm and Westminster director of public works Rev. Jeff Glass, who never skipped a beat as he waxed poetically and eloquently about the subtle nuances and ecstasies of the Westminster water meter replacement installation initiative...

Click here for a larger image: http://twitpic.com/n4k7r or here: http://kevindayhoff.tumblr.com/post/224740261/westminster-director-of-public-works-rev-jeff
As Rev. Glass’ voice rose in quivered and fevered praise of being stimulated by the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009; Mr. Schutt stoically continued with his hypergraphic note taking and Dr. Pam Zappardino surveyed the room the room adorned with her capital ornamentation and the studied pique of Elizabethan puritan curiosity and bemusement.

One wondered if Dr. Zappardino’s capital ornamentation was constructed of velvet, taffeta, or the wool of a cottager’s hand. One could only wonder if she were acting-out on strict obedience to Elizabethan sensibilities or maybe the Westminster Common Council had recently reenacted, in closed session, the Westminster Sumptuary Laws which dictated the styles of hats for dignified women of class and stature.

If you will recall it was during the years between 1968 and 1974 in Westminster – err, strike that - 1568 and 1574 that “all Citizens wives in generall were constrayned to weare white knit Caps of woolen yarne, unlesse their husbands were good value in the Queenes booke, or could prove themselves Gentlemen by descent.”

The curiosity of the hat was only one of the many subplots and oblique soliloquies that played out in the audience as Rev. Glass reported that he was infused with the idea of receiving the wireless signals of the new water meters with their variable attenuators and adjustable phase-shifters and that as a result he saw an apparition of Ben Franklin himself as he found himself awash in a sea of paperwork.

But wait; was that really a drop of sweat appearing on Mr. Schutt’s brow or was he simply moved by the shared spirit of the moment or the contemplation of actually being able to use a semi-colon in his news article?

Perhaps we’ll never know.

Moments later, the councilmembers gratefully accepted the bidding of Rev. Glass so that Westminster water meter reader officials may be turned-on as they stalked city neighborhoods in search of a sign or a wireless signal or perhaps even a glimpse of Mr. Franklin himself.

Over the years, paranormal apparitions and unusual occurrences have come to be accepted as de rigueur at Westminster council meetings.

Sudden chilly air, unaccounted brief gusts of winds, the odd clapping of hands, folks cackling to themselves as they clanked weaving utensils and others lapsing into the speaking in tongues are nothing unusual at the bi-monthly meetings of Emerald Hill.

Many have attributed such occurrences to the appearance of snallygasters…

For those who are not aware of snallygasters; in Carroll County Maryland, the belief in witches and supernatural spirits were part of the northern European-German culture brought into this area by its settlers.

For example, the word "snallygaster" doesn't seem to be used as much in recent years, but it comes from a combination of two German words: “schnell geiste,” meaning “quick spirit.”

Not to be confused with the “außenseiters” or “aus landers,” which have recently visited upon the city with their sea gull daze, wanting us to quit our redneck ways…?

At this point, please join Elton John, Bernie Taupin and the Greek chorus as we sing the honky cat blues: “When I look back boy I must have been green, Bopping in the country, fishing in a stream, Looking for an answer trying to find a sign, Until I saw your city lights honey I was blind.

“They said get back honky cat, Better get back to the woods, Well I quit those days and my redneck ways, And oh the change is gonna do me good…

“And all the folks back home well, said I was a fool, They said oh, believe in the Lord is the golden rule…

“They said stay at home boy, you gotta tend the farm, Living in the city boy, is going to break your heart, But how can you stay, when your heart says no, How can you stop when your feet say go…”

Anyway, where were we? Oh - for those of us who grew up in Carroll County, the “Schnell Gieste” or snallygasters were often responsible for the shivers that resulted from a sudden drop in the temperature or gusts of wind that closed doors and scattered papers.

Anyone who has spent time in Westminster’s city hall is well aware of the unaccounted-for footsteps on the stairs, apparitions in the windows, the eerie creaking of woodwork, the moans of sheer delight, and the groans of the ancient historic structure that has bore witness to the vagaries of the American Civil War, deaths of children during the Spanish Influenza outbreak in 1918; and contemporary personal character assassinations that accompany small-town politics.

This brings to mind a curious remark by Mr. Schutt as he was leaving City Hall that evening. For some background, as you may be aware, the unofficial symbol of Halloween, the jack-o'-lantern, has its origins in the carving of a turnip. Not as tasty, by the way, if you are making pie.

Although several hundred years ago pumpkins were quite smaller than they are today, colonials used a pumpkin because it was more easily available than turnips.

The practice of carving a frightening face and placing fire inside the pumpkin was to frighten away banshees or “schnell geistes” from the spirit world.

Mr. Schutt was apparently unfazed by the appearance of Mr. Schell Geiste and labored-on with his work, without flinching…

Although unconfirmed reports indicate that as Mr. Schutt left the council meeting, he quietly inquired as to where might be the best place to buy a carving pumpkin in Carroll County.

Hmmm. Maybe after all – he believes. Ask him. Inquiring minds want to know…

####

Okay, okay – OKAY - - I’ll write a different account for the newspaper. But my gosh I love it on this side of the note pad. Meanwhile stay in the shallow end of the pool.

Kevin Dayhoff October 26, 2009
~~~~
Photo captions:

The bright light of a snallygaster suddenly shone upon Carroll County Times writer Bryan Schutt and he kept a steady eye on the “witch” seated directly in front of him while covering the meeting of the Westminster mayor and Common Council on Monday night, October 26, 2009.

In the background, oblivious to the sudden appearance of the snallygaster, is Westminster volunteer fire department president Bill Brehm and Westminster director of public works Rev. Jeff Glass. Photo by Kevin Dayhoff October 26, 2009 [20091026 CowMCC Mtg (3)b] Click here for a larger image: http://twitpic.com/n4dt9 or here: http://kevindayhoff.tumblr.com/post/224678669/journalist-may-have-been-startled-by-snallygaster

~~~~

Westminster director of public works Rev. Jeff Glass never skipped a beat as he waxed poetically and eloquently about the subtle nuances and ecstasies of the Westminster water meter replacement installation initiative at the Monday, October 26, 2009 meeting of the Westminster MD meeting of the Common Council.

As Rev. Glass’ voice rose in praise of being stimulated by the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009, Carroll County Times writer Schutt stoically continued with his hypergraphic note taking and Dr. Pam Zappardino studied the room adorned with her capital ornamentation... Photo by Kevin Dayhoff October 26, 2009 [20091026 CowMCC Mtg 4 5 6] Click here for a larger image: http://twitpic.com/n4k7r or here: http://kevindayhoff.tumblr.com/post/224740261/westminster-director-of-public-works-rev-jeff

20091026 sdosmked The Journalist and the snallygaster


#art #writing #Halloween
*****
Kevin Dayhoff Soundtrack: http://www.kevindayhoff.net/ Kevin Dayhoff Art: http://www.kevindayhoffart.com/ Kevin Dayhoff Westminster: http://www.kevindayhoff.org Twitter: https://twitter.com/kevindayhoff Twitpic: http://twitpic.com/photos/kevindayhoff Kevin Dayhoff's The New Bedford Herald: http://kbetrue.livejournal.com/

*****
Kevin Dayhoff Soundtrack: http://www.kevindayhoff.net/ Kevin Dayhoff Art: http://www.kevindayhoffart.com/
My http://www.explorecarroll.com/ columns appear in the copy of the Baltimore Sunday Sun that is distributed in Carroll County: https://subscribe.baltsun.com/Circulation/

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Westminster videos and Jeff’s giant lava lamp


Westminster videos and Jeff’s giant lava lamp

The Westminster mayor and common council meeting this evening was a lot of fun. It was upbeat, positive, and informative.

In this evening’s Westminster mayor and council meeting, city administrator Marge Wolf announced that the city has purchased 4 video cameras. Soon, various city employees will be trained, by the Community Media Center, to operate the cameras so that the city can get the word out better about all the great work the city is doing.

Of course it is a smart move on the part of the city and the effort is to be applauded.

After the meeting several of us were talking about my “Westminster News” playlist - http://tinyurl.com/lubncg - on my YouTube page: http://www.youtube.com/user/kevindayhoff

In particular, “20071008 Jeff and Joe discover a giant lava lamp” http://bit.ly/MQoOd. Please enjoy.




http://www.youtube.com/user/kevindayhoff#play/user/686F580EC3B58588

20090713 sdosm Westminster videos and Jeffs giant lava lamp

*****


Friday, May 22, 2009

It was a perfect day, but the interview did not go well.


It was a perfect day, but the interview did not go well.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

While I was in Princeton New Jersey recently, I found myself walking along Nassau Street across from Princeton University.

It was a beautiful spring day. It was a perfect day - - or as Vivian Laxton would say, “C'est un jour parfait à donner des sédatifs.” (http://tinyurl.com/oh72eo)

The sidewalk was packed with all sorts of interesting folks; so, I thought that I would gather some views on contemporary events from the person in the street.

Hey, these things always go well when Mike Schuh does them.

Well, my experience was not so good.

She had nothing to say.

I can’t imagine what went wrong. I talked at great length about fashion, sports, life in a college town.

I even sang to her: “Oh it’s such a perfect day, I’m glad I spent it with you. Oh such a perfect day, You just keep me hanging on, You just keep me hanging on.

“Just a perfect day, Problems all left alone, Weekenders on our own. It’s such fun.

“Just a perfect day, You made me forget myself. I thought I was someone else, Someone good.”
(http://tinyurl.com/r43u7h)

In return, I got, like, nothing.

Zip. (And, I might add, it was at this point, that my wife did not know me.)

Maybe I need to get some pointers from Bryan Sears or Clifford Cumber.

Maybe I need to grow a beard like Cumber. Sears would’ve nailed it.

I did get some funny looks from some passers-by.


Kevin Dayhoff Soundtrack: www.kevindayhoff.net http://kevindayhoff.blogspot.com/
Kevin Dayhoff Art:
www.kevindayhoff.com
Kevin Dayhoff Westminster:
www.westgov.net
Westminster Maryland Online www.westminstermarylandonline.net http://kevindayhoffwestgov-net.blogspot.com/

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

GREEN & GLOVER EXTRA: Fox News' Megyn Kelly pregnant

GREEN & GLOVER EXTRA: Fox News' Megyn Kelly pregnant

http://tinyurl.com/czcj8w Washington Times

By Stephanie Green and Elizabeth Glover Monday, April 13, 2009

Fox cub?

The lady spies have learned that Fox News "America's Newsroom" anchor Megyn Kelly is expecting her first child in October.


“The 38-year-old Ms. Kelly” has been rumored to have been linked with Carroll County’s own Jamie Kelly in the past. See: http://tinyurl.com/cpmqpnJamie Kelly and Megyn Kendall link rumors denied

Then again, Mr. Kelly was also to have been rumored to have had a liaison with Katie Couric also… http://tinyurl.com/cywrzbKatie the cougar Couric goes triathlon

So far, no rumor has ever stuck to the elusive, well-dressed, and erudite Mr. Kelly – and now that he has removed himself to Iowa, it has, unfortunately, been increasing difficult to keep tabs on him…

Meanwhile, Ms. Megyn Kelly has since moved on from whatever relationship she may have had – or not have had – with Mr. Kelly and has since “married her husband Doug Brunt last year.”

Mr. Kelly, who is well known for decorum, maintaining confidences and keeping his month shut – has hardly ever uttered a word.

Well, not quite, in an exchange in researching, “Jamie Kelly and Megyn Kendall link rumors denied.” Mr. Kelly did emit a denial…
Is it all just a coincidence? Then how does one explain this photo
that has recently surfaced?

“Photoshop” says Mr. Kelly.

“That’s just crap and you know it, responded Mr. Kelly.
“There is no truth to the rumor that I’ve hooked-up with Megyn Kendall – or
Kelly, or whatever her name is,” waxed Mr. Kelly.

As for this latest development, so far Mr. Kelly has stayed true to character and not commented. So who knows if he feels melancholy or blue over the whole situation?


Read the rest of the report by Stephanie Green and Elizabeth Glover here: http://tinyurl.com/czcj8w

20090413 Fox News Megyn Kelly pregnant
Kevin Dayhoff Art: www.kevindayhoff.com (http://kevindayhoffart.blogspot.com/)
Kevin Dayhoff: www.westgov.net Westminster Maryland Online www.westminstermarylandonline.net http://kevindayhoffwestgov-net.blogspot.com/

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Mike Schuh and the Jefferson Airplane: An ongoing investigation


Mike Schuh and the Jefferson Airplane: An ongoing investigation

The mystery remains – Schuh and the Jefferson Airplane: An ongoing investigation.

January 22, 2009 by Kevin Dayhoff

Mike Schuh, Jefferson Airplane and the Surrealistic Pillow album.

Although Mr. Schuh would have us believe that he graduated from Camel High School, in Illinois in 1979, our in-depth investigation reveals that he did, indeed, play with Jefferson Airplane in the 1960s.

(Coordinating and reconciling these disparate facts remains elusive. Of course, this could all be the manifestation of an over-imaginative writer on his one day off?)

Nevertheless, witness, proof-positive, that Mr. Schuh does appear on the album cover of the Jefferson Airplane February 1967 release of “Surrealistic Pillow.”

This was shortly after Grace Slick had joined the band in 1966. Numerous reports that Mr. Schuh was dating Ms. Slick at the time remain unconfirmed.

Yet, notice her smile as she stands beside Mr. Schuh on the album cover photo…

Perhaps, after all these years, Mr. Schuh, may finally want to comment?

Of course, another mystery that we may want Mr. Schuh to help us out with is whether it is true, or not, that Jerry Garcia played on the album?

Two of the more famous cuts off the album were “White Rabbit” and “Somebody to Love.”

However, three of the other cuts off the album, of which I have always liked; were “Embryonic Journey,” and Plastic Fantastic Lover,” and “How Do You Feel.”

It was always rumored that Marty Balin actually did not write “Plastic Fantastic Lover.” That it was actually written about Mr. Schuh and was indeed, written by Ms. Slick. Or at least inspired by a conversation with Ms. Slick in which she was elaborating on her alleged relationship with Mr. Schuh.

One can only wonder if that is true – or not. Only Mr. Schuh can help us out; and so far, he has remained silent. A point for which we can only admire Mr. Schuh – a man of integrity - he does not kiss and tell.

If I recall correctly, on a number of occasions, when Mr. Schuh interviewed me, in my all-too-distant-now, former life as an elected official; Mr. Schuh was humming “White Rabbit,” as he approached.

Could this be coincidence or yet another indication that Mr. Schuh does indeed, harbor a former secret life as a rock star, long before he became a star journalist with WJZ TV Channel 13, in Baltimore, Maryland.

Inquiring minds want to know.

January 22, 2009 by Kevin Dayhoff

1960000s Schuh and Jefferson Airplane Surrealistic Pillow
Kevin Dayhoff www.kevindayhoff.net http://kevindayhoff.blogspot.com/

Kevin Dayhoff: www.westgov.net Westminster Maryland Online www.westminstermarylandonline.net http://kevindayhoffwestgov-net.blogspot.com/

Thursday, August 21, 2008

20080807 “La Policía” © by Kevin Dayhoff

“La Policía”

August 7, 2008 © by Kevin Dayhoff
Picture caption: Carroll County Commissioners Dean Minnich, Julia Gouge, and Mike Zimmer on the barricades at the Carroll County Office Building, Westminster, Maryland by Delacroix and Kevin Dayhoff August 7th, 2008

Writer’s note: A shortened version of this appeared in the
Sunday Carroll Eagle on August 17, 2008: “And now, for this week’s installment of ‘La Policia,’ in the Opinion section of the paper.
_____

Carroll County’s reputation for low crime and an aggressive approach to public safety is not a recent phenomenon.

Over 80 years ago on July 16, 1925, the editor of the American Sentinel newspaper in Westminster, Joseph D. Brooks wrote that many “years ago Carroll county was known to criminals all over the state as an ‘open door to the penitentiary,’ and many there were who entered by way of that door.”

However, as one can imagine when a community determines any public policy to be of paramount importance there are bound to be impassioned conflicts and dramas.

Writing for the Historical Society of Carroll County in 2001, Jay Graybeal noted in his introduction of the 1925 newspaper article, “Why the Listlessness of the Sheriffs of Carroll County?”; that it seems that Mr. Brooks had become unhappy with the Carroll County sheriff and state’s attorney and was letting them know that in no uncertain terms.

Carroll County history is replete with colorful conflicts, many of operatic proportions, between the Carroll County board of commissioners, the Carroll County delegation to Annapolis, the state’s attorney’s office, and the sheriff.

In the most recent act of this ongoing opera, on October 4, 2007 the Carroll County board of commissioners opted to move forward with a plan to form a county police department headed by an appointed chief of police.

Not willing to disappoint future historians, troubadours from far-flung regions of the Carroll County Empire then entered the stage and chaos ensued. I read several of the news accounts with the soundtrack of “Les Misérables” playing in the background.

The only disappointment is that Victor Hugo, the author of the classic 1862 novel, is not available to write about it.

Just as with any good storytelling, “La Policía” the current epic Carroll County constitutional conflict over the future of the police in Carroll County has many layers, story lines, strong personalities, and plot twists.

The frenzied operatic moments are reminiscent of what a collaboration between the famous 19th-century composer Richard Wagner and his father-in-law, Franz Liszt, would have looked like; with the emphasis of folks attempting to promote a plan for the future that cannot escape the past.

The very first act of La Policía is borrowed from Les Misérables. As the curtains rise, the scene before the bewildered citizen audience is the barricaded Carroll County office building.

It’s August 7, 2008 and the commissioners have just voted 2-1 to not move forward with the October 4, 2007 police plan.

As the smoke rises from the stage, there is a break in the action as members of the Carroll County Sheriff’s Department are storming the barricades.

Blinking red and blue police lights reflect back and forth in the fog of the smoke.

In the background, the delegation to Annapolis forms the chorus and is softly singing.

The three commissioners are standing on top of the barricades. Commissioners Mike Zimmer and Dean Minnich are on either side of Julia Gouge, holding her steady as she waves an oversized Carroll County flag.

Office building employees have broken out the windows and are showering the storming sheriff’s deputies with office furniture.

The stage is littered with burning newspapers as the local media has shelled all the participants with folded newspapers shot from makeshift artillery.

Off to the side, Channel 13 news reporter Mike Schuh is attempting to interview Westminster Police Chief Jeff Spaulding. The only thing is - the chief has the 1971 Led Zeppelin classic, “The Battle of Evermore,” coincidentally, the title of the first act of La Policía, cranked-up so loud on the car stereo, no one can hear a thing.

Inside the office building the receptionist, Kay Church, is serving cookies, answering the phones and has armed herself with a salad shooter and big bag of carrots.

Ted Zaleski, the director of management and budget is huddled off to the side with Vivian Laxton, the public information administrator as they try and figure out who is playing what character from Les Misérables.

All of the sudden there is silence on the stage as famed local historian; Jay Graybeal emerges from the fog as a narrator, smiles and begins to softly tell the story of the history of the sheriff’s department.

“When Carroll County was founded in 1837, one of the first tasks…” of the newly formed government was to elect a sheriff. As with many aspects of early American government, its origins date back to the history of mother England.

According to some undocumented notes, “1200 years ago, England was inhabited by Anglo-Saxons. Groups of a hundred would ban together and form communities known as a “tun,” from where we get the word, “town.”

Every group of a hundred, or “tun,” as led by a “reeve,” which was the forerunner of what we now know as a chief of police.

According to Mr. Brooks, the reeve was “charged with the execution of the laws … and the preservation of the peace, and, in some cases having judicial powers. He was the King’s reeve, or steward over a shire … — a distinctive royal officer, appointed by the king, dismissible at a moment’s notice…”

Groups of “tuns” banned together to form a larger form of government known as a ‘Shire’” – what we now know as a county; and my old notes reflect that in order to distinguish the leader of a “Shire,” from a leader of a tun, the more powerful official became known as a “Shire-Reeve.”

Which is where we get the modern word “sheriff.”

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20080807 “La Policía” © by Kevin Dayhoff

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Julia Child part of WWII era spy ring

Julia Child part of WWII era spy ring

Photo caption: It is not known as to whether or not Carrie Ann Knauer, pictured above interviewing Ms. Child in an undated photograph, followed in Ms. Child’s footsteps. She is indeed not only an excellent writer and cook - - but was she also once a secret agent? Kevin Dayhoff - File photo circa 2000.

Julia Child part of WWII era spy ring. Reports unsubstantiated that
Carrie Ann Knauer was also once a secret agent

August 13, 2008

As many folks who follow the news are aware, it was recently revealed that Julia Child was part of a WWII-era spy ring

As you can read in the Associated Press story: “Other notables identified in the files include John Hemingway, son of author Ernest Hemingway; Quentin and Kermit Roosevelt, sons of President Theodore Roosevelt, and Miles Copeland, father of Stewart Copeland, drummer for the band The Police.”

However it has not been confirmed as to whether or not Carroll County’s very own “Rachael Ray” was ever a spy. We all know
Carrie Ann Knauer’s work; she’s the prolific writer with the Carroll County Times who well known for her excellent coverage of Carroll County’s number one industry, agriculture, the environment and Carroll County’s number one love – food.

Did indeed, Ms. Knauer, pictured above interviewing Ms. Child in an undated photograph, follow in Ms. Child’s footsteps – and is indeed not only an excellent writer and cook - - but was also a secret agent.

Perhaps we’ll never know.

What is known is that Ms. Knauer first burst into the news media when she came to the
Carroll County Times in February 2002. Of course this coincides well with fact that Ms. Childs moved to a retirement community in Santa Barbara, California, in 2001…

We are also aware that Ms. Knauer has been known to disappear for periods of time in which her locational whereabouts are not disclosed

Hmmm, makes you wonder, now doesn’t it.

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Documents: Julia Child part of WWII-era spy ring

Related Searches:
CIA Director William Casey
Office of Strategic Services
Kermit Roosevelt
military plans
Slideshow: International spy ring revealed

By BRETT J. BLACKLEDGE and RANDY HERSCHAFT, Associated Press Writers Wed Aug 13, 11:10 PM ET

WASHINGTON - Famed chef Julia Child shared a secret with Supreme Court Justice Arthur Goldberg and Chicago White Sox catcher Moe Berg at a time when the Nazis threatened the world.

They served in an international spy ring managed by the Office of Strategic Services, an early version of the CIA created in World War II by President Franklin Roosevelt.

The full secret comes out Thursday, all of the names and previously classified files identifying nearly 24,000 spies who formed the first centralized intelligence effort by the United States. The National Archives, which this week released a list of the names found in the records, will make available for the first time all 750,000 pages identifying the vast spy network of military and civilian operatives.

They were soldiers, actors, historians, lawyers, athletes, professors, reporters. But for several years during World War II, they were known simply as the OSS. They studied military plans, created propaganda, infiltrated enemy ranks and stirred resistance among foreign troops.

[…]

Other notables identified in the files include John Hemingway, son of author Ernest Hemingway; Quentin and Kermit Roosevelt, sons of President Theodore Roosevelt, and Miles Copeland, father of Stewart Copeland, drummer for the band The Police.


Read the entire article here:
Julia Child part of WWII-era spy ring
20080813 Julia Child part of WWII era spy ring

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

20080423 Tofu Dusk at the Mellow Mushroom

Tofu Dusk at the Mellow Mushroom

The story of the tofu sandwich at the “Mellow Mushroom” in six parts.

April 23, 2008 by Kevin Dayhoff

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5058mbS9zdc

Winston-Salem, North Carolina - - This is the story of Mrs. Owl and I having hummus with pita bread, a tofu sandwich and a calzone; at the “Mellow Mushroom,” 4th and Marshall St., Winston-Salem, North Carolina. The story is told in six – or so parts…

Storyboard









1. Winston-Salem, North Carolina 04/23/2008 www.kevindayhoff.net

2. 4th and Marshall St., Winston-Salem, North Carolina 04/23/2008 www.kevindayhoff.net

3. Mellow Mushroom, www.mellowmushroom.com Winston-Salem, North Carolina 04/23/2008 www.kevindayhoff.net

4. Ms. Salem Editing, Mellow Mushroom, 314 West 4th St., Winston-Salem, North Carolina. 04/23/2008 www.kevindayhoff.net

5. Ms. Salem Editing et les amis, Mellow Mushroom, 314 West 4th St., Winston-Salem, North Carolina. 04/23/2008 www.kevindayhoff.net

6. Mrs. Owl, the newspaper reader, Mellow Mushroom, 314 West 4th St., Winston-Salem, North Carolina. 04/23/2008 www.kevindayhoff.net

7. And the band played on… Winston-Salem guitar player… Winston-Salem, North Carolina 04/23/2008 www.kevindayhoff.net

The end

Kevin Dayhoff writes from Westminster Maryland USA.

www.kevindayhoff.net

http://www.youtube.com/kevindayhoff

http://www.livejournal.com/

http://gizmosart.com/dayhoff.html

E-mail him at: kdayhoff AT carr.org or kevindayhoff AT gmail.com

His columns and articles appear in The Tentacle - www.thetentacle.com; Westminster Eagle Opinion; www.thewestminstereagle.com, Winchester Report and The Sunday Carroll Eagle – in the Sunday Carroll County section of the Baltimore Sun. Get Westminster Eagle RSS Feed

“When I stop working the rest of the day is posthumous. I'm only really alive when I'm writing.” Tennessee Williams

Accept differences, Be kind, Count your blessings, Dream, Express thanks, Forgive, Give freely, Harm no one, Imagine more, Jettison anger, Keep confidences, Love truly, Master something, Nurture hope, Open your mind, Pack lightly, Quell rumors, Reciprocate, Seek wisdom, Touch hearts, Understand, Value truth, Win graciously, Xeriscape, Yearn for peace, Zealously support a worthy cause. (Author; Renee Stewart)

Thursday, January 3, 2008

20080102 Fragmentary patchworks


Fragmentary patchworks of autochthonous and foreign elements.

January 2nd, 2008 by Kevin Dayhoff

Happy New Year Mr. Isaac Smith. Thanks for the mention - The List (No, Not the Washington Post's). [Free State Politics Maryland's online progressive community.]

Michael Swartz's list of local blogs to watch in 2008 is pretty good. It is missing a few good blogs of note, however…

As much as I agreed with most, but not all, of Mr. Swartz’s list, your list is right on the money. I also miss Stephanie Dray’s Jousting for Justice. And I am very happy that Crablaw's Maryland Weekly is back…

And thanks for calling to our attention the Washington Post’s list: Year in Review 2007 - “The List: What's In and Out for 2008” BY HANK STUEVER - WASHINGTON POST STAFF WRITER - – what a hoot. (And don’t miss giving The Year That Was 2007 by Brian Griffiths a good read. He obviously spent some time thinking about it…)

Your post could not have been timed better as it came shortly after a conversation with a dear colleague who said they like my blog – although I’m too liberal.

Ay caramba - whatever.

Along that thread, another colleague said “Dayhoff … your problem is that you like everybody.”

To that I plead guilty – life is way to short. Then again, maybe not – I don’t like mean people; and that personality defect occurs in folks from all political persuasions.

I simply do not allow politics to dictate my friends - - and I don’t like folks who do pick their friends based on politics. (I’ll be having lunch later in the week with a dear friend with whom I disagree about everything when it comes to politics.) I can disagree with folks about issues, but more often than not – I like the person…

As far as your observation: “… his actual blog hard to read -- its look is extremely busy and most of the posts are just link aggregations…” Hey, you oughta be in my head…

At least with the blog, there is an attempt at organization… I also find my blog “hard to read” and try as I might, after blogging for a number of years, it is still way too busy.

Perhaps my blog is a manifestation of being a hypergraphic attention deficit disorder hyperactive dyslexic. Maybe – just maybe, one day I’ll figure out what I’m doing. Being a technology geek – one would’ve thought blogging would be easy for me. It is not.

At this point, on the blog evolutionary scale, my blog is a monkey on roller skates. The monkey may or may not be wearing a pink tutu - this is for you to decide.

Years ago, I thought blogging would be easy for a columnist and short story writer. It has not been the case. And within the last number of months, I picked up a third (newspaper) column every week; which just proves the “Peter Principle” is real. I’m now way beyond my intellectual and cognitive abilities.

Heckfire – some days, I’m proud to have even found the time, much less the cognitive abilities - to post “link aggregations.”

Meanwhile, I am painstakingly determined to promote constant attention on current procedures of transacting business focusing emphasis on innovative ways to better, if not supercede, the expectations of quality. What I really need in order to navigate the treacherous waters that lie ahead is a list of specific unknown problems I will encounter.

Always remember, the purpose of my blog is to discuss fragmentary patchworks of autochthonous and foreign elements as juxtaposed by the undeniable command mortality of insignificant self-inflicted syntactic semiotic economics which sometimes may cause irreproducible results unless there is a pre-emptive digital fallibility matrix which would require an integrated third-generational triangulated refinement of indefinite managerial potential.

As I wax philosophic with metaphysical postulations, incomplete aphorisms and inconsistent sophism that allows me to conclude, more and more sure, that the only true thing about anything is nothing.

Now I know you believe you understand what you think I just said but I am sure that you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

As always, your thoughtful consideration is appreciated regardless of the outcome on any particular issue. Whether we agree or disagree, always find my door open for friendly civil and constructive dialogue.

Pray for my wife.

Best wishes for a great 2008.

Kevin Dayhoff writes from Westminster Maryland USA.

www.kevindayhoff.net

E-mail him at: kdayhoff AT carr.org or kevindayhoff AT gmail.com

His columns and articles appear in The Tentacle - www.thetentacle.com; Westminster Eagle Opinion; www.thewestminstereagle.com, Winchester Report and The Sunday Carroll Eagle – in the Sunday Carroll County section of the Baltimore Sun. Get Westminster Eagle RSS Feed

Friday, November 2, 2007

20071101 Today Billy Joe MacAllister jumped off the Tallahatchie Bridge


Today Billy Joe MacAllister jumped off the Tallahatchie Bridge

November 1, 2007

My October 31, 2007 – Wednesday Westminster Eagle column is up on the Westminster Eagle web site and it pertains to one of my favorite forms of literature, Southern Gothic storytelling and one of my favorite songs from my teenage years, “Ode to Billie Joe” by Bobbie Gentry.

I lost most the following paragraphs to my word limit…

Ms. Gentry was born Roberta Streeter in nearby Chickasaw County, Mississippi, on July 27, 1944, where she grew up in severe poverty on her grandparents’ farm. Her grandmother facilitated her exploration of writing and music when she traded a family cow for a piano. At the age of seven, Ms. Streeter – Gentry wrote her first song, “My Dog Sergeant Is a Good Dog.”

When Ms. Gentry first released the song, it was the “B” side of a debut “forty-five” which featured a song, “Mississippi Delta.” Disk jockeys became more intrigued with “Ode to Billy Joe” and started giving it considerable airtime – and it crossed over from country music stations to “Top 40.” It topped the charts for four weeks in August 1967, sold three million copies, and won her three Grammy awards.

The narrator of the story is not identified in Ms. Gentry’s haunting and mysterious tale of a young man who commits suicide. The song comes to mind as Halloween is upon us and thoughts wonder to trick or treating or the community Halloween Parade - and ghost stories. Carroll County is awash in ghost stories for your enjoyment. That is of course, if you believe in ghosts. Do you believe in ghosts?

The column started out as an “evergreen,” an obligatory column for a particular seasonal event in the year.

Many of my colleagues who write for newspapers abhor “evergreens,” however I have always seen them as a challenge to come up with a different angle on a perennial topic, in this case, a piece on Halloween.

The piece started out very differently as when I neared deadline I jettisoned the customary tome on ghost stories in Carroll County with the standard fare on the origins of Halloween.

I got off on a tangent with a variation on the old “Crybaby Bridge” standard and quickly left quite a bit of work on the cutting room floor. To wit, most of the following, along with an additional 400 words were killed off:

As with many of our customs, observances and holidays, Halloween evolved over many centuries as a combination of several non-Christian ancient harvest celebrations and rituals combined with religious celebrations. The roots of Halloween go back as far as the 5th century BC in Celtic Ireland, when October 31 was celebrated as “Samhain,” the Celtic New Year.

For the economic historian, it is widely accepted that Halloween came to America along with the significant Irish wave of immigrants as a result of the economic hardships brought on by the Irish potato famine from 1845 to 1851.

Halloween is upon and thoughts wonder to trick or treating or the community Halloween Parade.

And ghost stories. Carroll County is awash in ghost stories for your enjoyment. That is of course, if you believe in ghosts.

Do you believe in ghosts?

Among some of the old favorites in Carroll County are the Ghost of Furnace Hills; the Civil War soldier that roams around in Cockey’s Tavern; the ghost of the old Rebecca at the old jail, which now houses Junction, a drug abuse treatment center; and the headless apparition of Marshall Buell at the old Odd Fellows Hall in Westminster.

[…]

_____

Let’s go watch Billy Bob throw a public official off the Rt. 140 Bridge

October 31, 2007 by Kevin Dayhoff (706 words)

It was forty years ago in the late summer of 1967 that we first learned from “Mama” that the nice young preacher, Brother Taylor “said he saw a girl that looked a lot like you up on Choctaw Ridge. And she and Billy Joe was throwing somethin' off the Tallahatchie Bridge.

I first heard the song, “Ode to Billy Joe,” by Bobbie Gentry that summer on WCAO on the AM dial of the car radio. It was also in this time period that I became firmly hooked on the existential - “Southern Gothic” genre of storytelling.

To refresh your memory, the song can be found on the web at www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZt5Q-u4crc.

Other examples of authors of the Southern gothic genre of writing include William Faulkner, Carson McCullers, Eudora Welty, Truman Capote, and Harper Lee. Tennessee Williams once described the genre as stories that reflect “an intuition of an underlying dreadfulness in modern experience.”

Who can forget: It was the third of June, another sleepy, dusty Delta day… And mama hollered at the back door "y'all remember to wipe your feet." And then she said she got some news this mornin' from Choctaw Ridge. Today Billy Joe MacAllister jumped off the Tallahatchie Bridge.”

Of course another intriguing feature of the story is that it takes place in Carroll County: “And brother said he recollected when he and Tom and Billy Joe put a frog down my back at the Carroll County picture show.

Ms. Gentry has to this day remained circumspect about the haunting and mysterious tale of Mr. MacAllister, but one thing we do know is that the “Carroll County” she is referring to in the song is “Carroll County Mississippi.” Come to find out, there are approximately 13 places in the United States called “Carroll County.”

The song comes to mind as Halloween is upon us and thoughts wonder to ghost stories. Carroll County is awash in ghost stories for your enjoyment.

Halloween ghost stories are fascinating as often they involve aspects of unexplained historical events, enigmatic dialogue, and inexplicable characters. However, over the years, I have become much more enamored with Southern gothic storytelling, which is frequently more creative – and often more disturbing in the manner it which it peels away the layers of a community or society; yet does not tell a reader ‘what to think,’ but nevertheless causes the reader ‘to think.’

Just like Halloween stories, the song’s plot makes known several themes. The first of which is obvious in that just like many popular Carroll County Halloween stories, it reveals a snapshot of life in a particular period in history.

But it is the other prominent theme that is particularly disturbing as it peels away the layers of indifference that contemporary society shows towards our fellow human beings – or in the case of “Ode to Billy Joe,” the loss of life.

In present day Carroll County, every other public hearing is “Halloween” as this theme often manifests itself in the cavalier manner in which folks will often engage in character assassination in the pursuit of a particular agenda.

In the song the family of the narrator nonchalantly mentions the gentleman’s death: “Billy Joe never had a lick of sense/ pass the biscuits, please. Of course the narrator of the story cares: “Mama said to me "Child, what's happened to your appetite? I've been cookin' all morning and you haven't touched a single bite. Other than that, they may as well been having a dinner conversation about the weather.

Happy Halloween. By all means, please enjoy some of the old favorites in Carroll County like the Ghost of Furnace Hills; the Civil War soldier that roams around in Cockey’s Tavern; the ghost of the old Rebecca at the old jail, and the headless apparition of Marshall Buell at the old Odd Fellows Hall in Westminster.

Better yet, the next chance you get, go to the Carroll County Public Library and re-read Harper Lee’s “To Kill a Mockingbird” or Truman Capote’s “In Cold Blood.”

Or, of course, you can attend a good ole’ Carroll County public hearing and really see a modern day horror story unfold in real time - “and watch she and Billy Bob throwing public officials off the Rt. 140 Bridge.

Kevin Dayhoff writes from Westminster Maryland USA.

E-mail him at: kdayhoff AT carr AT org

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